4

Vitamix on SNL: The Epitome of First World Problems (Video)

^
Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of South Florida and help keep the future of New Times free.

Once upon a time, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and cell phones did little more than make phone calls, I walked into an Apple store where a "genius" proceeded to ask me a question that's usually used by people who try to sell you flowers, pamphlets, and religions at the airport: "Would you like to see something that will change your life?"

Turns out, the guy wanted to introduce me to something called an "iPad", an expensive mix between a phone and a computer. Several years later, nearly everyone has an iPad, in addition to their phone, laptop, and (possibly) desktop. I do, too.

Expensive gadgets that one really does not need extends into the kitchen. In my own small galley, I have a seltzer maker, an espresso machine, an electric coffee grinder, a microwave with all the bells and whistles, and a plain, ordinary blender. Why no Vitamix, the blender to the stars?

It's not that I don't want one. I've seen the demos and I certainly have "blender envy". It's just that I could never get over the price tag, which approximates two car payments. Even if I could afford it, there's that nagging feeling that I would be a total douche if I spent that amount of money on something that makes smoothies (yes, I know that it does more...but really? It makes smoothies).

Sometimes I have first-world guilt when I wait in line to buy pods for my Ferrari-red espresso machine. Then I say to myself, "at least I didn't spend six hundred bucks on a blender".

This past weekend, Saturday Night Live pretty much nailed the whole debacle in a skit that had host Sarah Silverman and cast member Vanessa Bayer at odds about the new Vitamix Pro Series 750, which carries not only a $650 price tag, but a lot of baggage.

At least juicing with the Vitamix guarantees you'll lose weight. About 130 pounds when your ex-best friend slams the door in your face!

Follow Laine Doss on Twitter @LaineDoss and Facebook.



Keep New Times Broward-Palm Beach Free... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering South Florida with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.