Food News

Vitamix on SNL: The Epitome of First World Problems (Video)

Once upon a time, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and cell phones did little more than make phone calls, I walked into an Apple store where a "genius" proceeded to ask me a question that's usually used by people who try to sell you flowers, pamphlets, and religions at the airport: "Would you like to see something that will change your life?"

Turns out, the guy wanted to introduce me to something called an "iPad", an expensive mix between a phone and a computer. Several years later, nearly everyone has an iPad, in addition to their phone, laptop, and (possibly) desktop. I do, too.

Expensive gadgets that one really does not need extends into the kitchen. In my own small galley, I have a seltzer maker, an espresso machine, an electric coffee grinder, a microwave with all the bells and whistles, and a plain, ordinary blender. Why no Vitamix, the blender to the stars?

It's not that I don't want one. I've seen the demos and I certainly have "blender envy". It's just that I could never get over the price tag, which approximates two car payments. Even if I could afford it, there's that nagging feeling that I would be a total douche if I spent that amount of money on something that makes smoothies (yes, I know that it does more...but really? It makes smoothies).

Sometimes I have first-world guilt when I wait in line to buy pods for my Ferrari-red espresso machine. Then I say to myself, "at least I didn't spend six hundred bucks on a blender".

This past weekend, Saturday Night Live pretty much nailed the whole debacle in a skit that had host Sarah Silverman and cast member Vanessa Bayer at odds about the new Vitamix Pro Series 750, which carries not only a $650 price tag, but a lot of baggage.

At least juicing with the Vitamix guarantees you'll lose weight. About 130 pounds when your ex-best friend slams the door in your face!

Follow Laine Doss on Twitter @LaineDoss and Facebook.



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Laine Doss is the food and spirits editor for Miami New Times, covering the restaurant and bar scene in South Florida. She has been featured on Cooking Channel’s Eat Street and Food Network’s Great Food Truck Race. Doss won an Alternative Weekly award for her feature on what it’s like to wait tables. In a previous life, she appeared off-Broadway and shook many a cocktail as a bartender at venues in South Florida and New York City. When she’s not writing, you can find Doss running some marathon then celebrating at the nearest watering hole.
Contact: Laine Doss