Where to Take Dad to Eat for Father’s Day

Dads are like assholes. Or not. That’s the thing -- they’re all so damn different! So before deciding on a father’s day destination, it helps to define what type of man he is. Here’s an easy-to-use guide (meaning short of length and no big words) of recommendations specific to your pappy, not somebody else's.

Meat-and-Potatoes Dad: Fleming’s Steak House. They are opening early (4 p.m.) to serve a special father’s day menu.

Generous Dads Whom You Are Absolutely Positive Will Insist On Picking Up The Check: Brunch at the Biltmore or any Ritz-Carlton; dinner at David Bouley Evolution or Nobu.

Worldly Dad: Dinner at Pascals On Ponce. It may be the closest you’ll ever come to dining together in Paris.

Starstruck Dad: Dinner at the new DeVito South Beach, which opened this week. Even if nobody famous shows up, at least he’ll be able to say he ate at “Danny’s place”.

Indecisive Dad: Let him choose, as payback for passing you this genetic curse

Macho Dad: Lunch at a churrascaria such as Porcão, or Texas de Brazil in the Dolphin Mall.

Vegetarian Dad:Sublime in Ft. Lauderdale. What, the man who raised you isn’t worth a thirty minute drive?

Funny Dad: Dinner at Barton G. He’ll appreciate the clever concepts and zany presentations. He should also get a chuckle from the $40 coffee made from beans hand-picked from animal feces.

Foodie Dad: Lots of choices here, but North One 10 and Talula have comprised especially fetching Dad Day brunch menus.

Gay Dad: Dinner at Magnum, a piano bar/restaurant with festive food, drink, and show tunes.

Soulful Dad: Sunday Supper at Mahogany Bar & Grill. If papa doesn’t have soul, he will by the time he finishes the Southern fried chicken and banana cream pie.

Intellectual Dad: Wait, let me think....

Jock Dad: Shula’s On The Beach. Meat meets sports TV at “Don’s place”. Nuff said.

Fisherman Dad: Oceannaire Seafood Room. He’ll be reeled in by the extensive selection of fish from around the country.

Outdoorsman Dad: Head to the Everglades with rifles, knives, butane stove, mosquito spray, lots of beer. And don’t forget napkins!

Dad Who Pampered You: Lido Restaurant at Standard Hotel and Spa. Get him a rubdown followed by lunch on the bay.

Moody Dad: Dinner at Two Chefs. The American bistro fare is cheery, the prices non-provocative, the selection of alcohol deliriously expansive.

Abusive Dad: Tell him you’re busy.

Tough Love Dad: Return the favor. Take him to Denny’s. --Lee Klein

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Frank Houston