Chew It Up & Dance It Out

Cancer’s a bastard and there’s nothing we can do to stop it yet. So in the meantime, let’s throw some celebrations in the spirit of helping those who are stricken with this horrible disease and raise a few bucks to throw their way in the process. Dine at the Sweet…

Oh, Christ!

It’s a resurrection of sorts: Actor Ted Neeley, who played the title role in the original motion picture Jesus Christ Superstar, will once again resurrect the role Wednesday for the theatrical version’s final days at the Broward Center. Now, folks, this show is nothing to get hung up about; perceive…

Wrap Your Lips Around This

Publix’ produce section will seem quite different after sex therapist Lori Sarvis teaches you how to blow a banana and seduce strawberries during her “Art of Oral Sex” class. And don’t even ask what the woman has in mind for the whipped cream. [“It represents moisture inside a woman,” Sarvis…

Smells Like American Spirit

Boy, modern hunters have it tough. Those patsies have camouflaged gear, attractive scents made of animal urine, and custom tree lofts they can sit in to wait out their prey in comfort. Our forefathers had to use carved, wooden decoys just to scrounge up grub for the table! Think about…

A Musical for Mullet-lovers

The Great American Trailer Park Musical blows into town Wednesday, just in time for hurricane season. Set in The Sunshine State [no shocker there], it stars a home-wrecking hoochie on the run from her violent Sharpie-sniffing boyfriend. Will the neighbors toss out “the trash” before she manages to permanently shoehorn…

Joke with the J.A.P.s

If the thought of partying with Sarah Silverman, Chelsea Handler, and Sandra Bernhard makes you swoon like your Bubbie during a sale at Loehmann’s, check out “The Jewish Princesses of Comedy” at the Kravitz Center Wednesday night. Paying tribute to the women who made The Chosen People laugh post-WWII, top…

Miami’s Jazzed Up

Come out, come out, you jazz aficionados hiding in smoky, dark clubs. Let your Vitamin D-deprived skin cells soak in the rays while your ears take in the sounds of the ninth annual 2008 JVC Jazz Festival Miami, held entirely outdoors for the first time. Performances start at the Van…

Californication, Simon-style

This doesn’t seem to be the same place the Eagles sang about, but Neil Simon’s California Suite takes the audience into another version of a peculiar Golden State hotel. In four episodes, hotel guests encounter all sorts of oddities, best friends become anything but by the end of their vacation,…

Buffet for the Beholder

Serving up a smorgasbord for your viewing pleasure, The Boca Raton Museum of Art premieres two spring exhibitions Friday: “American Impressionism: Works from the Bank of America Collection” and “In The Eye of The Beholder: Selections From The Art Galleries at Gallery Center.” The former comprises over 60 landscape paintings…

Ties that Bind

Get in a Cuban state of mind Sunday for the opening of “Unbroken Ties: Dialogues In Cuban Art (Sin rupturas).” Smoke a cigar, sip café con leche, or listen to a Celia Cruz CD before heading over to the Museum of Art Fort Lauderdale (1 E. Las Olas Blvd., Fort…

Black & Beautiful

Before you go rushing out to see “In the Hands of African American Collectors: The Personal Treasures of Bernard and Shirley Kinsey,” please be aware that, no, Bernard and Shirley aren’t the sex-research Kinseys. Instead, they are a California-based couple who have amassed an impressive collection of slave-owners’ documents, artifacts,…

Walk Hard

Life’s certainly no party for the more than 6,000 folks living with Multiple Sclerosis in South Florida, but on Sunday many of us locals can help them out by raising money at the MS Walk. Walkers older than 17 are asked to raise a minimum of $50, which, as we…

Reality Bites

What do you get when you combine the true flavors of Mexico and America? Nope, it’s not Taco Bell’s newest colon-cleansing menu item; it’s a photographic exhibit entitled “The Hunter Gift: Manuel Alvarez Bravo and Arthur Rothstein.” The last in a series of three photography exhibitions this season at Norton…

France, Interrupted

Focus, Francophiles! The Norton Museum of Art (1451 S. Olive Ave., West Palm Beach) is presenting an impressive collection of works from Edouard Boubat and Robert Doisneau, some of France’s most important photographers of the 20th century. You’ve undoubtedly seen Doisneau’s “Kiss by the Hotel de Ville” (wherein two lovers…

Three Cheers for Green Beer!

Swing your shillelagh Saturday at Delray Beach’s St. Patrick’s Day parade, taking place from 1 to 2:30 p.m.! This year’s event boasts environmentally friendly touches (some may say green) like $1 discounts for drinkers who reuse their beer cups. Party before the parade at 10 a.m. and again at 7:30…

Gettin’ ΄Wicky Wit It

Crawl over to the IMAX Theater at the Museum of Discovery and Science (401 SW Second St., Fort Lauderdale) to experience The Spiderwick Chronicles. Based on the series of bestselling fantasy adventure books with the same name, this movie illustrates some strange happenings surrounding the Grace family in its new…

Diva, Designer, Draper

Before queer eyes went on national television to teach straight guys and gals the difference between a fauteuil and a footstool, Dorothy Draper, queen of all tastemakers, dictated good design. She — not Lilly Pulitzer, mind you — was the first to suggest that chartreuse and turquoise went together better…

Suck it Up, Then Out

Chew the fat with liposuction experts at an open house for ABSolute Lipo Dissolve and American Laser. They’ll share details about the latest advances while everyone sucks down some vino, and then attendees can enter drawings for giveaways and discounts. You may also wish to munch on delectable appetizers, but…

M&M… and M

Well, slap your hogs and pluck those chickens—the hoe-down-cum-musical, A Murder, A Mystery, & A Marriage, is being brought back to life. Originally written by Mark Twain in 1876 for an Atlantic Monthly magazine competition, the tale involves two young, soon-to-be betrothed lovers who get wedged apart by family, a…

20 Years of Being Fair

If you see kids vandalizing a Cadillac downtown this weekend, hopefully they’re the ones with water-based paint: The car company asked them to decorate as part of a Las Olas Art Fair exhibit. (If the Caddy is yours, however, you have legitimate reason for concern.) Yep, this extravaganza has come…

Oh, the Humanity!

If the thought of seeing posed corpses stripped of their casings at the “Bodies” exhibit grosses you out, head over to Lèche-Vitrines Art Alliance (3038 N. Federal Highway, Fort Lauderdale) to see the human form via more aesthetically traditional means. Over 50 original, primarily figurative works by Boynton Beach artist…

Give Art for Peace a Chance

While most art we view daily is spray-painted graffiti by world-renowned masters like “Biatsch” and “Neckface” (though it should be said, we love Neckface), one local group is showing the world what painters can do with a more traditional medium: the canvas. The group goes by the handle The Barn…