Elderly Woman Sells Lauderdale Home for Life of Cruising, Dancing

To my fellow wage slaves, making regular payments to a Social Security program that will never pay us back: Let’s take comfort in the knowledge that our contributions are helping to finance the twinkle-toed retirement of ladies like octogenarian Lee Wachsetter. From Sunday’s edition of the Toronto Sun:A few years…

JB’s on the Beach Bolts From City Pier Bid

Late Friday, one day after staffers at Deerfield Beach City Hall met to discuss bids by local restaurateurs for the space at the end of the city’s pier, JB’s on the Beach has withdrawn from the competition.Of course, in August, JB’s won that bid only to have it thrown out…

Latest on the Shooting in Hollywood

Hollywood Police just updated the media about its findings in shooting incident that occurred in the late afternoon Sunday in Boulevard Heights. It’s a murder-suicide. The shooter’s name is Zacaria Fernandez, who died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound after he shot Yvonne Magdalena Rios, the sister of his estranged wife,…

At Lauderdale Show, GWAR Decapitates Obama

That’s some recently posted footage from the 25-year-old heavy metal band’s appearance this weekend at Revolution. I’m not fluent in “GWAR,” but I’ll give this a try: An Obama figure who gets his head torn off and spits geysers of blood through his neck means that a heavy metal band…

The Most Bizarre Police Bulletin of the Week (So Far)

I know. It’s early, but check out this report from the Broward Sheriff’s Office in Dania Beach:A female called 911 and advised that someone knocked on the door at 150 NW 13 Ave. Dania Beach. A man dressed in business suit, with a tie and a briefcase asked the man…

For a Moment, Coral Springs Teen Led LPGA Event

That’s Coral Springs ninth-grader Alexis Thompson, starring Friday at the Navistar LPGA Classic in Alabama. Besides that interview with ESPN, Thompson took a call from one of the legends of women’s golf, Nancy Lopez.Thompson came down to Earth on Saturday, falling eight strokes behind the lead, but she still came…

Where are the Broward-ites on LeMieux’s Senate Staff?

You would think that the first native of Broward County ever elected appointed to the U.S. Senate would toss a few bones to the home team. But Sen. George LeMieux’s newly announced staff is conspicuously lacking in locals.Ironically, this might be the only good thing about appointing a U.S. Senator,…

Your Undefeated Florida Panthers!

Looks like the Panthers like playing in front of big crowds. In Helsinki, they won their opening game of the season against the Chicago Blackhawks, a team that’s a fashionable pick to win the Stanley Cup.David Booth overcame the Juice jinx, scoring the tying goal with less than three minutes…

Animal Cruelty Activists Will Picket Pageant

The finals of the Miss Florida Teen USA pageant happens Sunday at Bailey Hall at the Broward College campus in Davie. But the “Miss Cruel Teen USA” event is set for the same location on Saturday, in hopes giving this glamor queens a black eye.It’s a brainstorm of the Animal…

Can Michael Jordan Find Peace in Jupiter?

The best basketball player to ever walk planet Earth is moving to Jupiter. A $7.6 million mansion? Fine. He deserves it, along with the lifetime of leisure that awaits him in the decades to come. I certainly have no regrets from buying the Bulls tickets and jerseys and countless pairs…

Reality Television Too Late to Make a Star of Stefanie Woods

I’m not going to get on a soapbox and complain about unimaginative, exploitative reality television shows. But I do feel entitled to complain when they’re not even good at being unimaginative and exploitative. If they were, they would have recognized the star power of Stefanie Woods right after the 17-year-old…