Miami Heat Chokes Away Game One Against Bulls

Well now. That was a bit rough. A depleted Chicago Bulls came into the American Airlines Arena for Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Semifinals, saw fans clad in white, watched LeBron James receive his MVP trophy, and then went on to systematically bludgeon the world champs by having Joakim…

Pit Bulls Maul Florida Woman as She Protects Her Daughter

A Daytona Beach woman was attacked and mauled by a pack of pit bulls as she shielded her 6-year-old daughter from the animals. Brandy Bookamer, 27, went for a stroll with her daughter by their home on Holly Lane in Daytona North on Sunday evening when they were suddenly and…

Cypress Bay High Student Arrested After Food Fight Breaks Out

Dozens of Broward Sheriff’s Office deputies descended on Cypress Bay High School on Friday to quell an on-campus disturbance involving hundreds of students. Thanks to the quick-thinking hand of justice that is the BSO, the disturbance was quickly and efficiently silenced, and the suspect, a 17-year-old male whose name is…

Five Most Important Florida Bills That Failed

The Florida Legislature is kind of like that family friend who comes and crashes your pad for two weeks, rearranges everything in your cupboards, tells you exactly what kind of person you are, and then leaves so you can live in the mess they just created. After two more quick…

Fort Lauderdale Teen Attacked by Shark, Tweets About It

A Fort Lauderdale teen was surfing the sweet waves of Melbourne, Florida, when the good times suddenly came to a gnarly end after he was attacked and bitten in the leg by a shark. Michael Adler, 16, who is an experienced surfer, wiped out on a wave. As he swam…

Judge Orders New Trial for John Goodman

After weeks of anticipation, it looks like John Goodman is going to get another trial. The “polo mogul” — which, if you translate that into middle-class English, means rich dude with nothing better to do all day — wasn’t given a fair shake in his original courtroom appearance, a Palm…

LeBron James to Be Named MVP for Fourth Time

In the least shocking news in the history of forever, LeBron James is going to be named the 2013 NBA Most Valuable Player for the fourth time in his face-wrecking career. Michael Jordan, Bill Russell, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and Wilt Chamberlain are the only other players with at least four MVP…

Rain and Flooding Is Not Yet Done With You, Palm Beach County

In case you forgot, it rained a crapload of buckets yesterday. Some places — like Delray Beach — reported as much as 11 inches of rain. And while the day is amazeballs gorgeous this early Friday afternoon, it’s probably going to get nasty again very soon. Because, Florida!…

Florida Man Hides a Whole Bunch of Drugs Inside His Butt

A Port St. Lucie man was walking around a cop funny. And then he told the cop he “may have some needles between his cheeks.” And, according to a St. Lucie County Sheriff’s Office arrest affidavit, it would appear that the man had more than just needles between his cheeks…