OH HAI FIESTY VELVET THUNDER OBAMA GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.A day after the debate in which the President of the United States of America was replaced by a sock puppet that was buried under a massive avalanche of horse feces at a Presidential debate, the REAL Barry Oblastyoface was back in…
John Textor doesn’t want to talk to the press.”I don’t trust any of you,” he said to a reporter on a recent weekday afternoon, answering the door of his cloistered Hobe Sound house in a faded green polo shirt, slacks, and sandals.See also:- Digital Domain’s student labor plantationThe former CEO…
Looks like Charles Barkley is done trolling the Heat, because now he thinks LeBron James can be better than Michael Jordan.”First of awl… gimme a cheese bergar…” After spending the past two seasons ripping LeBron and the Heat — saying God is a Mavericks fan, cheering for Heat to lose…
The Miami Marlins are a damn mess. They traded away a bunch of good players for a bunch of not-so-good players. They’ve had horrible attendance all year. They’ve lied about the stadium from the word GO. And now, thanks to a terrible owner, a horrendous general manager, and a stripped…
As you may have noticed, things are a wee sensitive these days when it comes to the election (no, really, check the comments on this here post and prepare your brain for all the crayzay) And now the debates over who will be our leader for the next four years…
Whether you think Obama was replaced by a sock puppet or Mitt was a mound of horse poo or have declared the election a landslide for Romney based on one debate, one thing we can all agree on from last night: Jim Lehrer sucked. Between getting bullied by Mitt and…
Big photos below. Editor’s note: This piece was originally published by our sister paper’s news blog Latest Word on Denver Westword. It’s written by Sam Levin, an editorial fellow who’s been keeping tabs on both candidates in the swing state of Colorado for the past few months. President Barack Obama…
Wake up this morning and the consensus is that Mittington Willard Romnom RoboRomney Mittbot won the first presidential debate over Velvet Thunder Barack. Most pundits on Twitter and your mother agree. Romney was feisty, aggressive, kind of a dick, and on the offense. Meanwhile, Obama was a big giant fart sound…
Watching The Debate in a room full of GOPers with 60 or so televisions tuned to Fox News doesn’t foster the idea that anyone other than Mittens won the evening. That opinion is to be expected. (And appears to be the consensus.) But neither does it instill the idea that…
The NBA is finally taking a stand against grown men getting paid millions of dollars to act like giant babies whenever an opponent brushes up against them. Starting this season, floppers get fined. First flop equals a warning. Second flop leads to a $5,000 fine. Flop five times and the fine…
Tony Galeota: From Running Porky’s, Miami’s Most Notorious Strip Joint, to Rotting in a Panamanian Jail
Miami Marlins Keep Lying About Stadium
Rick Scott, who got back on the voter-purge horse last week in order to weed out the hundreds of thousands 198 people who would totally compromise elections, is now asking for donations to help his cause. See also: Rick Scott Continues Dumb Voter-Purge Crusade In a letter signed by Scott,…
We’ve spent the past few weeks scoping out South Florida’s social media landscape in search of the best of the web. Our eyes are a bit bleary from staring at our computer screens and iPhones, but here it is: our first annual South Florida Web Awards. From the apps you…
Yesterday we told you about a lady who tried dry-humping riding a manatee like a horse and then disappeared into the ether. Pinellas County Sheriff’s deputies were not amused and announced that they were on the lookout for the manatee molester. “Go ride a Jet-Ski. Don’t use animals. She needs…
Crazy Uncle Joe was campaigning in Charlotte on Tuesday and did that thing where he said stuff that makes Democrats smack themselves on the forehead. Speaking of Mitt Romney and how he and Paul Ryan would raise taxes on the middle class, Biden said, “How they can justify… raising taxes…
Boynton Beach Commissioner Marlene Ross reportedly sent her first cousin nude photos of herself on Facebook. This may have led to her being extorted to vote a certain way. And now the City Commission is an uproar. Oh, Facebook. Not even first cousins are immune to your powers of sexting…
When a video of Mittington Mittbot saying rich douchey things about the majority of Americans to other rich people surfaced a couple of weeks back, Matt Drudge released a 14-year-old video of President Obama saying “redistribution” a lot of times. When that failed to anger America and force an impeachment,…
A kooky South Florida story made the big time in front of the U.S. Supreme Court on Monday, as justices heard arguments in a case that will decide whether Fane Lozman’s floating home — targeted for removal from a marina by Riviera Beach and towed away by U.S. marshals –…
Tour-boat captains are supposed to be a little zany, maybe even a bit edgy if the crowd is right. But Angel Rodriguez of Island Safari Tours was apparently very drunk and totally insane when he took a trio of tourists out for a day of sightseeing near Key West. Yes, it sounds awesome at…
Dwyane Wade is officially switching shoe brands. Wade, who has been with Jordan Brand since 2010, is going to start endorsing Beijing-based footwear and apparel company Li-Ning. According to a source, Wade will be leaving Jordan Brand and joining up with Li-Ning, which is the number-two brand in China after…
Pinellas County Sheriff’s deputies are asking the public to help them catch an accused manatee molester. An unidentified woman is wanted for violating the Florida Manatee Sanctuary Act, which states that it is illegal for people to “intentionally or negligently” attempt to “molest, harass, or disturb any manatee.” According to…
