This is what happens when the Heat players look like they left all their fucks in their other jeans and those jeans are in the wash. A 105-101 loss to the Washington Wizards, the worst team in all of professional sports: That’s what happens. It’s nothing new. The Heaters have…
In the least shocking news of the entire history of human persons, Sports Illustrated has named LeBron James the 2012 Sportsman of the Year. All LeBron pretty much did this year is cleave the earth with his astounding awesomeness by winning his first NBA title for your Miami Heat, won…
Just weeks before Christmas, the Miami Dolphins were supposed to pull another big win out of their collective asses to inch closer to an improbable post-season berth. Instead, they delivered a stocking full of turds in the form of a 23-16 loss to the New England Patriots. There’s plenty of blame…
The Dolphins and Patriots face off this Sunday at Sun Life Stadium for the first time this season. And even though New England is a heavy favorite, history has proven that this matchup can go in any direction. This isn’t the most heated rivalry in the AFC East (both teams…
Former Miami Dolphins wide receiver Brandon Marshall was asked about the latest rash of NFL player suspensions tied to amphetamines, including the ADHD drug Adderall. Marshall, who is now playing with the Chicago Bears, answered that he doesn’t know much about Adderall but that he’s heard of players taking boner…
On Saturday, something seemingly wrought from a time forgotten will emerge and rumble down the track at Gulfstream Casino to the delight of almost no one. Today, we bear witness to the fetid remains of a once-proud sport: horseracing. Yes, the sport will ultimately limp on, but it will do…
Miami Dolphins safety Jonathon Amaya was arrested in the wee hours of Monday morning and charged with battery after an alleged altercation with a cabdriver. The alleged dispute stems from a 40-mile trip Amaya allegedly took from Bamboo nightclub on Miami Beach to Weston, in Broward County. Amaya is allegedly…
Ryan Tannehill didn’t “grow up” before our very eyes on Sunday. He didn’t KILL. He didn’t become “magically delicious.” He’s a good quarterback. We knew this already. But the rookie reminded everyone that the Dolphins’ enduring search for a franchise quarterback may finally be over. With eight minutes to go,…
The Dolphins went into Orchard Park last night and promptly got kicked in the onions several times by the Buffalo Bills to the tune of 19-14. And while that score might seem tight, it felt more like a 35-point blowout. Against one of the worst defenses in the league, Reggie…
Imagine standing along A1A, chugging some ice-cold brews on a hot fall day and watching a string of Formula One cars race by at 190 mph. The breeze from the beach, the whistling whiz of the engines, the potential for a horrific wreck — these are the things dreams are…
The last time we saw the Miami Dolphins, they were busy getting clubbed in the face with a frozen chicken at the hands of the Tennessee Titans. So then, with only a few days to prepare for the Buffalo Bills, the Fins had to pick their teeth off the floor and…
Well, this seems rather fitting. The owner of the Marlins, known for insulting the South Florida community by lying and then gutting the ball club, just traded for a guy who is known for insulting the gay community. It’s like assholes just gravitate to each other. Yunel Escobar, Miami’s new…
After swindling the entire city of Miami, then building their tax-laden $560 million stadium and promising everyone they were going “all in,” the Miami Marlins have decided to gut their roster and trade away ace pitcher Josh Johnson, Mark Buehrle, Jose Reyes, John Buck, and Emilio Bonifacio to the Toronto…
We’ve seen it before. And yet, every time he does it, it’s like witnessing a supernova in person for the very first time. It may take some work to grapple with LeBron’s awesomeness. Breaking down his game might be counterintuitive. Only because, even though we think we’ve seen this kind…
The 4-5 Tennessee Titans came into SunLife Stadium pretty much the worst defense, statistically. Until Sunday afternoon, they were on pace to set an NFL record for most points allowed in a single season. Yet the Dolphins could manage only three points against them while turning the ball over four…
The Dolphins are back home this Sunday to take on the Tennessee Titans at Sun Life Stadium. This is a good thing because, as it stands, the Dolphins are a pretty mediocre football team while the Titans are quite crappy. But can Miami overcome its recent bout of The Suck…
Remember all the hoopla surrounding the “Suck For Luck” campaign last year? Yea, there was a reason for that. The Colts’ Andrew Luck decimated the Dolphins defense, leading Indianapolis to the 23-20 victory over Miami on Sunday. Luck went 30-of-48, and set a rookie record by surgically removing the Dolphins’…
The last time the Miami Heat were in New York, they were busy denting Knickerbocker ass on their way to a first-round playoff series victory, the first of many on their way to the title. Remember when New York managed to win one game in that series and Madison Square…
According to John Heyman of CBS Sports, the Miami Marlins have hired former Florida Marlins catcher Mike Redmond to be their next manager to eventually be fired by Jeffrey Loria. Heyman reports that it’s a three-year deal…
Lost in the hoopla that was the amazeballs that was the Miami Heat championship ring and banner pregame ceremony was NBA Commissioner David Stern taking a moment to remember the victims of the recent storm that hit the North Atlantic by calling it Hurricane Katrina. “Before we begin, I know…
The Miami Heat kicked off the 2012-12 season last night by first getting its championship rings and then by sticking a foot into the Celtics’ assholes. ‘Twas a glorious night indeed. And while traditionally ring ceremony games have been a snoozer, mainly because the team getting the rings were still…
The NBA season kicks off tonight when the Miami Heat hosts the Boston Celtics. But before that, the Heat players will be receiving their championship rings and unveiling their 2011-12 NBA Finals Champions big-ass banner that will hang in the rafters at the American Airlines Arena like a giant pair…
