The news regarding any South Florida sports team not named the Miami Heat continues to be miserable. After trading away Hanley Ramirez, Anibal Sanchez, and Omar Infante for prospects in order to clear up their finances, the Marlins were pretty adamant about using that leftover cash to spend on some…
The Miami Dolphins lost because they can no longer do the one thing this team was always only capable of doing — kick field goals. And so the New York Jets came to town, managed to play like a sack of crap, and still pulled out the 23-20 victory, because…
The New York Jets head into town this weekend for TonySparanoRevengeTour2012. Both teams come into the week at 1-1 in a four-way tie between all teams in the AFC East which very much means that the winner of this game could potentially be in first place heading into Week 4…
In probably the least surprising news ever, people don’t want to pay well over $50 to go watch a mediocre football team. The result of that not-at-all-surprising news is that this weekend’s showdown between the Dolphins and Jets at Sun Life Stadium is facing local TV blackouts because of a…
The Miami Marlins had what you might call a bit of a crappy season. Even though they entered this year superexcited about their brand-new stadium, their brand-new $100 million payroll, their brand-new shortstop, their brand-new closer, their brand-new manager, and being featured on Showtime’s The Franchise, things went south pretty…
Miami Dolphins general manager is not a very popular guy around town (save maybe for a few still-loyal zombies here and there). And according to several fans who attended Sunday’s Dolphins-Raiders game, he got supermad at a critical fan and called the fan an “asshole.”Fans began to call in to…
A few years ago, the Oregon Ducks unveiled neon-green uniforms to the masses. The colors were retro and the style unique. Then everyone went bananas with the neon green (the Seattle Seahawks adopted a similar color scheme). But Atlantic High in Delray has taken the neon-colored-uniform thing and unveiled what…
Holy shit. The Dolphins won. Oh yes. They so did. The Miami Dolphins were able to go into Sunday’s game against the Raiders and not do that thing where they play like a sack of ass, and were able to dismantle Oakland 35 -13, giving the Fins their first home…
Dolphins running back Daniel Thomas was bonked on the head during 30-10 loss against the Houston Texans last Sunday. He left the game with an apparent concussion and didn’t return. But according to Orlando Alzugary of 640 Sports, Thomas passed his concussion test. However, according to Alzugary’s sources, the team…
Digital Domain, the Florida-based visual effects company that gave the world Titanic, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, and a Tupac hologram, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy recently. And now, according to Gossip Extra, Dolphins great Dan Marino, who bought 1,576,525 shares in the animation studio, is among the biggest…
Barack Obama panders to no one! Especially not Dolphins fans because, well, that would be pretty stupid. Because they suck, you see. Obama made an appearance this morning on Pimp With a Limp DJ Laz on 106.7 FM, where he did some campaigning. Because it’s important to reach that Pimp…
Well, that went exactly as one would have expected things to go. The Miami Dolphins headed into Houston for Sunday’s opening game of the 2012 NFL season and promptly got their assholes blown apart by the Texans in a 30-10 beatdown. The encouraging thing was that rookie quarterback Ryan Tannehill…
Your Miami Dolphins are set to kickoff the 2012 season this Sunday at Houston (a team, incidentally, they have never beaten ever in the entire existence of American tackle football history). If you haven’t noticed, we’re living in the golden age of pass-first football. Passing records are falling by the…
Last night was the season finale of Hard Knocks, which means it’s all downhill for the Miami Dolphins from here on out. As far as season finales go, this one was a weird amalgam of boring, sad, and — for some inexplicable reason — Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson. With the first…
Appearing as a guest at the Dolphins’ Touchdown Club luncheon today at Bokamper’s Bar and Grill, Dan Marino told Dolphins fans to chill with all the anger over the fact that the team sucks balls. These things take time. Like maybe 13 years, but still. “Be patient,” Marino told the…
This friggin’ team. In what is possibly the greatest metaphor ever produced by the fates, the Miami Dolphins charter plane apparently clipped another parked plane as it was backing out during takeoff. The incident happened at Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport last night as the team prepared to fly back to…
In what is the least shocking news ever, the Miami Dolphins headed into Dallas yesterday and proceeded to get blasted in the face by a bazooka at the hands of the Cowboys to the tune of 30-13.So now the 2012 Dolphins join the 1966 and 1989 teams that went winless…
Well now, here’s some decent Miami Dolphins news. Lincoln Financial Media’s WAXY-AM (790, “The Ticket”) announced today that former Dolphins defensive end Jason Taylor will be joining the Dan Le Batard Show With Stugotz starting next week. The six-time pro bowler and the 2006 NFL Defensive Player of the Year…
Last night’s episode of Hard Knocks was all heartache and Jeff Ireland. We saw the stark reality of players’ dreams of playing professional football halted by the cruel, cutthroat world of the NFL. And we saw firsthand just how thoroughly Ireland sucks at his job. We also saw that, no…
Yesterday during Dolphins practice, left tackle Jake Long (aka “THE WARHAMMER”) went down like a sack of hammers, continuing his yearly trend of getting injured just before the last game of the preseason. Long injured his right knee, and for a while there, the Dolphins feared he had done bad, terrible, no-good things…
The Miami Dolphins traded former first-round pick and cornerback Vontae Davis to the Indianapolis Colts for two 2013 draft picks yesterday. That’s right. Jeff Ireland just got a second-round pick and sixth-round pick for a guy he decided to draft over Clay Matthews, Hakeem Nicks, Kenny Britt, Patrick Chung, and…
With two pre-season games left to play, the Dolphins still have a lot of unanswered questions lingering like a drunk old man who won’t leave the bar. Ryan Tannehill wonders who he’ll be throwing to. Joe Philbin wonders if any of the bubble players will step up and earn a…
