As you may have noticed, things are a wee sensitive these days when it comes to the election (no, really, check the comments on this here post and prepare your brain for all the crayzay) And now the debates over who will be our leader for the next four years…
Whether you think Obama was replaced by a sock puppet or Mitt was a mound of horse poo or have declared the election a landslide for Romney based on one debate, one thing we can all agree on from last night: Jim Lehrer sucked. Between getting bullied by Mitt and…
Wake up this morning and the consensus is that Mittington Willard Romnom RoboRomney Mittbot won the first presidential debate over Velvet Thunder Barack. Most pundits on Twitter and your mother agree. Romney was feisty, aggressive, kind of a dick, and on the offense. Meanwhile, Obama was a big giant fart sound…
Rick Scott, who got back on the voter-purge horse last week in order to weed out the hundreds of thousands 198 people who would totally compromise elections, is now asking for donations to help his cause. See also: Rick Scott Continues Dumb Voter-Purge Crusade In a letter signed by Scott,…
Yesterday we told you about a lady who tried dry-humping riding a manatee like a horse and then disappeared into the ether. Pinellas County Sheriff’s deputies were not amused and announced that they were on the lookout for the manatee molester. “Go ride a Jet-Ski. Don’t use animals. She needs…
Crazy Uncle Joe was campaigning in Charlotte on Tuesday and did that thing where he said stuff that makes Democrats smack themselves on the forehead. Speaking of Mitt Romney and how he and Paul Ryan would raise taxes on the middle class, Biden said, “How they can justify… raising taxes…
Boynton Beach Commissioner Marlene Ross reportedly sent her first cousin nude photos of herself on Facebook. This may have led to her being extorted to vote a certain way. And now the City Commission is an uproar. Oh, Facebook. Not even first cousins are immune to your powers of sexting…
When a video of Mittington Mittbot saying rich douchey things about the majority of Americans to other rich people surfaced a couple of weeks back, Matt Drudge released a 14-year-old video of President Obama saying “redistribution” a lot of times. When that failed to anger America and force an impeachment,…
Dwyane Wade is officially switching shoe brands. Wade, who has been with Jordan Brand since 2010, is going to start endorsing Beijing-based footwear and apparel company Li-Ning. According to a source, Wade will be leaving Jordan Brand and joining up with Li-Ning, which is the number-two brand in China after…
Pinellas County Sheriff’s deputies are asking the public to help them catch an accused manatee molester. An unidentified woman is wanted for violating the Florida Manatee Sanctuary Act, which states that it is illegal for people to “intentionally or negligently” attempt to “molest, harass, or disturb any manatee.” According to…
Well now, this is kinda terrifying. Richard Levine of Fort Lauderdale was living his life, minding his own business, when he suddenly inherited 13,000 clown items. Levine got the collection after his father-in-law and business partner died two years ago. The warehouse of nightmare fuel includes clown dolls with happy…
You would think this would be the one theme park that would allow — even encourage — arms. Because of God and guns and all. But… yeah, no. Not the case.A New Jersey man was arrested Sunday for attempting to bring a gun inside the Holy Land Experience theme park…
Boynton Beach police Sgt. Frank Ranzie, the cop who handled the Dalia Dippolito murder-for-hire plot, is reportedly under investigation for having kiddie porn on his laptop. According to the report, the porn was discovered after Ranzie brought his laptop in for service after it was hit with a virus. The…
Upper Darby police in Philadelphia busted a major heroin dealer who who reportedly had 140 packets of smack labeled, “LeBron James.” The packets include a silhouette of a man dunking a basketball. Kind of like Michael Jordan’s Jumpman logo, except with dark circles around the eyes, constant licking of the…
Big Brother is watching. But Big Brother owes money.Those traffic light cameras that flash two seconds after you’ve run the red were supposed to pay bug for local governments. Instead, not so much is the case. According to county administrators, the county owes more than what it’s taking in. The 10 cameras…
Joe Biden got medieval on Romney and Ryan’s asses over the weekend. Biden rallied supporters at his events in Boca Raton and Tamarac over the weekend, which were filled with Florida seniors. Biden went around telling the many, many seniors who attended his rallies that Romney’s economic plan could hit…
According to a poll taken for the Democratic group House Majority PAC by Garin-Hart-Yang Research, Allen West is trailing challenger Patrick Murphy 52 percent to 43 percent. THAT RESEARCH FIRM IS COMMUNISSS!! Last week, West’s campaign released their own poll showing the congressman leading Murphy by nine. Another GOP-leaning poll…
Ryan Tannehill threw for 431 yards. Brian Hartline caught 12 passes for 253 yards. Cameron Wake registered four sacks. And yet the Miami Dolphins still found a way to dip their balls in the soft serve ice cream machine and lose to the Arizona Cardinals 24-21 in overtime. It was…
Remember when the 2012 NFL schedule was released and everybody saw Arizona on it and were all, LOLOLOL we’re so gonna win that game? So much for that. The Cardinals are currently one of two undefeated teams at 3-0, in first place in their division, and a solid home team…
Being a teacher takes up a lot of one’s time. There’s barely time to chitchat, let alone have conversations to iron out some misunderstandings. So naturally, the best thing to do in that situation is hire a hit man to murder the fellow teacher you’ve got a beef with. Pretty…
Some asswipe in Williston, Florida, decided it would be a good idea to bury a two-week-old puppy alive.However, the puppy was found, dug up, and rescued by police, and he appears to be doing fine, making this the most horrible/adorable story you’ll hear all day…
Rick Scott is back on the voter-purge horse because Rick Scott is a voter fraud crusader! *Trumpet blast* On Wednesday, state officials sent local elections supervisors a list of 198 people on the voter rolls who are supposedly noncitizens. The state said about 38 of those registered voters had cast…
