Dear Mexican: I like to think that I’m an open-minded sorta guy for a teenager. I fervently oppose racial stereotypes, though I do think they’re good for a laugh or two sometimes. I have several Mexican friends, and none of them lives up to the “Mexican standard” of lawn mowing,…

Dear Mexican: How do I go to the Mexican grocery store and bakery to buy supplies for our Día de los Muertos party without looking like I’m doing the kitschy-goofy thing I’m doing? I walk up to the register and smile ingratiatingly, saying “Gracias” as usual — but a basketful…

Dear Mexican: Why do so many of my peers assume I must have low self-esteem just because I’m dating a Mexican guy? I finally found someone with my same values and who treats me way better than any gringo I ever dated. The same women who complain about “sleazy” Mexican…

Dear Mexican: We were in a restaurant the other day eating some refried beans and green chili when I overheard some gringos in the next booth making fun of Mexicans. One thing they said that really made me mad was, “Why do Mexicans refry their beans? Stupid Mexicans! Don’t they…

Dear Mexican: I’m a minority, and I know we can be overly sensitive sometimes, but I just can’t stand Carlos Mencia. Not only are his jokes asinine but I feel they are actually racist. Whereas Dave Chappelle tried to make fun of society’s racist thought, Mencia seems to promote it…

Dear Readers: I asked half-breeds a couple of weeks ago to write in with nicknames that describe their mixed Mexican heritage. Many, muchos responses continue to trickle in — gracias for the submissions. Following is a handy glossary that ustedes wrote, with the occasional Mexican commentary — enjoy! If you’re…

I am addressing this to both ¡Ask a Mexican! and “Savage Love,” hoping one of you will have an answer to this: Why do Mexican chicks yell for their papi during sex? Daddy del Diablo Dear Readers: Daddy del Diablo sent the above query to both the Mexican and Dan…

Dear Mexican: A new line of Speedy Gonzalez clothing came out earlier this year. As a black vendor in a predominantly Mexican market, I immediately thought about selling some of these items. I am 35 and, although I remember the cartoon coming on when I was a young kid, I…

Dear Mexican: Do you agree with immigration rights activists calling Elvira Arellano, who is an illegal immigrant and a criminal, I might add, the Mexican Rosa Parks? The very idea that these people refer to her as such is deeply disturbing. Rosa Parks was a legal resident of this country…

Dear Mexican: I’ve run into a problem with my wife. I’d like to proudly display our last name on the back window of the family car, but she won’t allow it. How can I convince her that’s it’s a long and honored Mexican tradition to do so? — Tejano Rick…

¡ASK A MEXICAN! Dear Mexican: Why do Mexicans say “¡Ojalá Dios quiere!”? Ojalá refers to Allah the Muslim god, and Dios is the Christian god. Do Mexicans want to cover their bases and get a double blessing, or maybe they can’t make up their minds? ¿Qué pasó con los dos…

Dear Mexican: Why don’t Mexicans ever drop their Spanish? Even third- and fourth-generation Mexican-Americans still speak the language to some degree or another. I speak Japanese, but I’m losing it quickly, and when my mother passes on, so will my language. The typical Asian-American kid may attend Chinese, Korean, or…

Got a spicy question about Mexicans? Ask the Mexican at themexican.com They will be edited for clarity, cabrones. And include a hilarious pseudonym, por favor, or we´ll make one up for you.

Dear Mexican: I was sitting around with my daughter and her Mexican husband the other day talking about her past. Jokingly, I mentioned that when she was a teenager (30 years ago), lots of boys came by the house to see her. Her husband flew into a rage and said…

Dear Mexican: I was going through a local state college’s academic program the other day and found that they offer a bachelor’s degree in Chicano Studies. My question is in what field of work would someone with a bachelor’s in Chicano Studies land? Here are a few jobs I came…

Dear Mexican: I have no problem with immigrants. My grandparents were Dutch on one side and Irish on the other — but they came here legally, through Ellis Island. What I can’t stand are a bunch of fence-hopping, river-wading illegals telling me I owe them a free education, free health…

Dear Readers: Gracias, gracias, gracias for ustedes who bought the Mexican’s book last week (deportation for those who haven’t). I’ve done mucho national press due to the interest — the list so far includes Talk of the Nation, Fox News Live, Paula Zahn Now, The Tom Leykis Show, The Glen…

Dear Mexican: I’m a gringa married to a mexicano, and we have a 3-year-old son. His family is wonderful for the most part, and they adore my son, but as he is getting older, his tíos are trying to “toughen him up” and make him more macho. So far, they’ve…

Dear Readers: The Reconquista has arrived! On May 1, ¡Ask a Mexican! comes out in book form gracias to the literary madmen at Scribner. Expect more of the same, but más: more essays, more illustrations from Mark Dancey (the gabacho who created this column’s logo), and more questions. Below are…

Dear Mexican: Have you seen the e-mail flying around, allegedly from country rock star Charlie Daniels? What’s your reaction? — The Mexicans Went Down to Georgia Dear Gabacho: I love it. For ustedes readers who don’t know what we’re talking about: In April 2006, one-hit has-been Charlie Daniels posted an…

Dear Mexican: I lived here illegally for the first half of my life, so I’m very offended when I hear anti-immigrant comments. I especially can’t stand “Illegals don’t pay taxes, so they shouldn’t be here.” When my father applied for residency during the amnesty in the 1980s, part of the…

Dear Mexican: What do Mexicans think about President Bush’s grandfather having a hand in getting the guy that robbed Pancho Villa’s head out of jail? — Kruising Klassily in Kennebunkport Dear KKK: Ah, Villa’s stolen skull. No macabre Mexican legend is more mired in intrigue, distortions, and looniness — and…