If you’ve walked down Las Olas or Clematis lately, chances are you’ve seen a Cycle Party. You know, the mobile bar/bicycle contraption that looks like something Leonardo da Vinci would have invented if he were in a frat. Yeah, that. If you still have no clue what I’m talking about,…
Coral Springs’ own Joanna Rohrback — AKA the Prancercise® Lady — is at it again. Her latest YouTube video features sweeping cinematography and is a wonderfully complex study on identity, relationships, and horses. Or something like that…
The Riverside Market is hosting a fundraiser tonight to benefit Musicians on Call, a nonprofit charity that brings local musicians to hospitals so they can give in-room performances to patients. The event will be sponsored by Florida Beer Co., and there will be a $10 cover at the door, which…
Most aspiring screenwriters have probably closed their eyes and thought about it. Some random celebrity peels open the envelope while the crowd — dressed in their finest tuxedos and gowns — all hold their breath in anticipation. Finally, you hear it: your name. You stand up, hug your significant other,…
Ever been to Disney World? Nice isn’t it? There’s candy, rides, lovable characters come to life. It’s just wholesome, good-for-all-ages fun. Jim Norton is the opposite of Disney World. If the 45-year-old had his own theme park, it would be filled with horny prostitutes frolicking in and out of various…
Broward County is a wonderful place. Let’s just start out by saying that. Beautiful beaches, amazing cuisine — there’s a reason tourism is a big business here. People want to come to Broward. Yay, Broward! You go, Broward! OK, have we built Broward up enough yet? Yes? Good. Let’s knock…
On Friday July 18, somewhere north of 800, people will fill Downtown Fort Lauderdale’s Off the Hookah to watch 20 of the area’s most eligible young singles get bid on like they are van Gogh’s ear stapled to a Picasso painting. They’ll be doing this not because they’re broke and…
Fort Lauderdale is like a strange foreign land. If you enter without knowing its ways, you’ll be chewed up and spit out, bloody and naked. (Bloody and naked was actually the third runner-up as Fort Lauderdale’s slogan.) But if you learn your way around, where to go and what to…
How do you know it’s June? Everything in your house is sticky. The Disney channel plays 24 hours a day at a volume that would give Helen Keller a headache. The only thing you’ve had to eat all day is a fistful of grapes and three strands of your own…
Researchers at the University of Illinois have found that hurricanes with female names are usually more deadly than their masculine counterparts. The research team thinks this may be because people subconsciously associate female-named hurricanes with feminine stereotypes of tenderness and affection — kind of like the way you subconsciously picture…
Six days. A lot can get done in six days. God made the world in six days. Your aunt learned to bake in six days. And it probably took you six days to figure out that someone in Baton Rouge had stolen your identity and bought $1,500 worth of olive…
There was a time when every tattoo was scary. Ink was reserved for criminals, freaks, and cartoon characters. But now, tats have gone mainstream. Gone are the days of swastikas chiseled into prisoners’ skulls using ballpoint pens and dissolved Skittles. Now pop stars and accountants rock Chinese characters on their…
Memorial Day is here, and there are currently thousands of South Floridians making their way to the beach. It’s a Sunshine State tradition as old as meth and guns. But just because you don’t have to wear a shirt doesn’t mean you can treat the beach like your own personal…
Say Carlos Mencia three times in a comedy club and see what appears. Could be a frown, a hateful rant, maybe even a defense, but chances are you’ll get something out of the comedy community. That’s because, not too long ago, Carlos Mencia was one of the most controversial –…
Over the years, we have come to expect weirdness from Rick Scott, just as we expect an egg from a chicken. And, just like the chicken, Scott always delivers, pulling things out of his ass that make us scratch our heads. But even we are a little confused by some…
It’s rarely easy to forge a career out of a passion. Most professional musicians know this all too well. Making a living off what you love is a grind — unless you love hedge funds. In which case, you have other problems. But Phil Barnes doesn’t mind the adversity. A…
Democracy is a beautiful thing. It gives us presidents, laws, and American Idol winners. And now we can add yet another thing to Democracy’s shining list of accomplishments: our Best Of Readers’ Poll nominees…
Let’s do a little creative visualization: You are the first mother in the history of the human race. One day, something starts growing inside your uterus, kicking and leaching nutrients for nine months before choosing one of the smallest holes on your body to emerge from. After unimaginable pain, you…
We took away a lot of things from Exxxotica 2014: unwanted glitter, naughty business cards, and hopefully nothing infectious. But perhaps nothing was as memorable as our conversations with Sally D’Angelo and Rita Daniels, two porn stars over the age of 60. See also: Slideshow of Exxxotica 2014 in Fort…
You’ve had 20 days to vote for your favorite local business in the New Times Best Of Readers’ Poll. Instead, you ate macaroni and played Xbox. But please — please — put down that bowl and hit pause, because today is the last day you have to vote. How does…
Buzzfeed is to lists what Bob is to barricades. And while the modern media juggernaut has certainly proven its knowledge on topics ranging from fierce llamas to awkward sleeping cats, it — on occasion — gets things wrong. Recently, it posted an article called “17 Reasons Why Ft. Lauderdale Is…
Boston might be the closest thing standup comedy has to a marine corps. Louis C.K., Bill Burr, and Doug Stanhope are all part of a long and impressive list of comics who got their start in Boston. Don’t be fooled by the cheekbones of Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. Boston…
