Sequins? Jazz hands? Bawdy show tunes? Nope. The inaugural Out in the Tropics performing arts festival is all about the kind of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender theater that steps beyond stereotypes. Wednesday at 7 p.m., the fest begins with “Queer Culture, Global Culture,” a panel discussion at the Shore…
The big, blonde behemoth, otherwise known as Brock Lesnar, has traveled a weird and twisting road. Back in the day, he was the 2000 NCAA heavyweight wrestling champ. But rolling around in public with sweaty college boys doesn’t typically lead to immediate career opportunities. So, after graduation, Lesnar did what…
Once upon a time, heavy tattage was the exclusive brand of sea dogs, sideshow freaks, and antisocial slime. Today, though, everybody’s been inked. Your sister’s left boob is tagged “Property of Tito.” Your brother’s forearm bears a baby pirate with a kinky kris dagger in its wooden teeth. Even Mom…
You work hard, but you party hard-core. So it’s not entirely uncommon for your weekend to start 24 hours early with a testosterone- and tequila-soaked Thursday full of degenerate gambling, trash talk, and amateurishly applied guillotine chokes. One thing is guaranteed: There will be blood, broken bones, and battle scars…
At first, the South Florida Boat Show seems boring. But then you imagine cutting waves from the Caribbean to Key West in a cigarette boat loaded with a couple of kilos of kush. You’re trolling for swordfish and sharks at 100 mph. There’s a drunken mermaid on the bow and…
Decapitated goats floating in Biscayne Bay, teens arrested for rapping at the drive-thru, knife-wielding psychos turning berserk because the jukebox isn’t loud enough, teachers crafting geometry lessons based on “hypothetical” Obama assassination plots, daddies trading their babies for beer, robots replacing priests … It’s a weird, weird, weird world indeed…
Only one in every million boys is blessed with a 9.75-inch penis like gnomish übermensch Ron Jeremy. For the rest of us short, fat, greasy-haired hedgehogs, the closest we’ll ever get to starring in a sex flick is this weekend’s Exxxotica Expo at the Miami Beach Convention Center. If you’re…
A conundrum: What kind of sound would a morbidly obese, four-titted, screaming Cyclops make while being probed by multicolored psychic lamprey? Hmm … That’s a mind-bender so deep and twisty it could put you into a permanent coma, turning certain centers of your brain into scorched-out pudding. Thankfully, the New…
Whether you own a $135,000 Maserati GranTurismo S or a ’96 Ford Taurus that can only be driven downhill, your ride probably qualifies for this Friday’s Speedway T-n-T at Homestead-Miami Speedway (1 Speedway Blvd., Homestead). The only requirements are “street-legal cars and trucks with valid vehicle registration and driver’s license.”…
As a rule, it’s a really bad idea to get drunk at the zoo. Consuming mass amounts of alcohol while surrounded by wild, vicious beasts could easily lead to any number of embarrassing and/or deadly mishaps. You might mistake a gorilla for your girlfriend. You might fall into the lion’s…
If you happen to be a 20-something punk whose experience of ’80s hardcore is wholly derived from digitized back issues of Slash and a bootleg DVD of Penelope Spheeris’ seminal doc The Decline of Western Civilization, then this Friday’s Pogo! party at Churchill’s Pub (5501 NE Second Ave., Miami) is…
Sure, Dwyane Wade and the Miami Heat closed out the final month and a half of the regular season by posting 17 wins and only four losses. But here’s the thing: Miami spent the past seven days of the playoff race eking out meager wins against some of the Eastern…
Don’t have the cash for a midweek trip to Rio? Well, no worries. Tonight Champion Sound and two big-time beat junkies are bringing a taste of Brazil’s funk and fat asses to these subtropical shores. Jumping off at 10 p.m., the weekly hip-hop humpfest will host Marcelinho Da Lua and…
Sweatstock’s sweatiest moment came at the end. By the time noise-punk duo No Age finally stumbled onstage around 9 p.m., the crowd was bigger, drunker, and more chaotic than it had been all day. Fans of every kind packed a pit bounded by NE 2nd Ave., Sweat Records’ north-facing façade,…
Design by Chelly After another shitty day at a shitty job in a shitty city, I decided to relax by listening to an old LP of sci-fi movie sound effects and watching shadows on my bedroom walls while blitzed on acid. At the time, this seemed like the best way…
It’s not exactly comforting, but the bond between all humans is death. And just like the rest of us, Jim Morrison ended up a fat, flatulent corpse in a Paris bathtub. Unlike most people, however, the Lizard King was a rock star, so he was only 27 when it came…
With an acting résumé that stretches from Gablestage and New Theatre to a featured role alongside Paris Hilton in the 2006 straight-to-video sorority romp National Lampoon’s Pledge This!, Miriam Kulick has proven her propensity to mix it up. She does stage and screen, drama and comedy, serious theater and unabashed…
It was an insanely heavy way to start a nice night of music and movies: Bodies tossed across train tracks, horsemen of the apocalypse streaking through snowy nowheres, and local metalheads Slashpine shredding slow and deep into doom-y sonic territory. A couple days before the show, I asked Roofless Rex…
No Age to the left, Teenanger to the right.All you hardcore weekend warriors can just keep on keeping on, living “in the moment,” and partying so unendingly hard that your eyes, teeth, and toenails hurt till Wednesday. Personally, I’m taking a fucking break.Why? ‘Cause I don’t really give a shit…
Straight out of Springboro, Ohio, via the virtual reality of the internet, Mitchell Davis is a 20-something-year-old kid who’s cornered a certain kind of pseudo-celeb status with the Gen Z set. That’s a convoluted way to say: He’s a YouTube star with almost 72 million video views to his credit…
The Eastern Conference has pretty much been all about the Cavaliers and Magic this season. But no team is entering the post-season hotter than the Miami Heat. Sure, it’s been able to benefit from a cakewalk schedule down the stretch. But that doesn’t mean it can’t dent a few asses…
A gift of extravagant jewels has always been the best way for one man to tell another how he feels. So when Florida Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria presented Hanley Ramirez with a commemorative “.342” (the All Star shortstop’s 2009 league-leading batting average) pendant encrusted with nearly 400 diamonds, the boss…
