The Business of Torture

You’re a popular dominatrix with ten years of experience in torture play. You’ve got an extensive collection of rubber cudgels and leather whips. You’re a very, very naughty girl. Well, not really. Compared to European freaks of the 16th and 17th centuries, you are a total amateur. Back then, a…

If You Missed Ice Cream at El Warehouse, Get Right with Satan April 3

Singer Justin Rivers gets possessed.S. Pajot​When Ice Cream and crew invaded El Warehouse (a live-work rental in Little Haiti) last Friday, there was supposed to be a keg. Five bucks for unlimited beer. Well … No go. Instead, kids packed the trunks of their clunkers with Bud tallboys, High Life,…

Rapping for Roxicet

Crip walk to the American Airlines Arena (601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami) for some low-frequency bass therapy at the White Lion Records 15th Anniversary Megaconcert. Presented by 800-411-PAIN, get help from Latin rap and reggaeton heads, including Calle 13, Tego Calderon, Ivy Queen, Cosculluela, Jowell y Randy, JKing y Maximan, Julio…

Alicia Keys’ Freedom Rings at American Airlines Arena

In the eternal pantheon of R&B divadom, there’s a hierarchy and a history. The rank and order of things, though, is something that will be debated forever by full-time fans and casual critics, so we’ll just step away from that messy, brutal battle. Instead, let’s speak to the chronological record,…

Switch Talks Major Lazer, the New Album, and the Ultra Fest

Left to right: Switch, the Major, and Diplo​What do you need to know that you don’t already know? Over the last few years, Switch (real name Dave Tayor) has become one of the most massive masterminds of mash-up music in this new-ish millennium. He and Diplo (real name Wesley Pentz)…

His Majesty King Dave

Even if you’ve never met the man who built Churchill’s (5501 NE Second Ave., Miami), he’s pretty easy to spot. His name is Dave Daniels, and he’s that dapper 68-year-old gentleman with the great, white grandfatherly beard. On a typical night, Daniels can be found sitting at the far end…

808s and Fastbreaks

Shad Gregory Moss, the artist formerly known as Lil’ Bow Wow, is a man-child of many talents. He raps, he acts, he twitters while driving drunk through the streets of Miami Beach. And Sunday, Bow Wow’s gonna show off his on-court skills (see: 2002’s orphan-becomes-NBA-superstar flick Like Mike) in a…

Calling Wannabe Rockstars: Music Talent Associates Wants You

Little Beard, photographed by Liana Minassian​The streets, squats, garages, and clubs of unincorporated Miami-Dade are flooded with unsigned indie bands, punk crews, rap collectives, and solo singer-songwriter types. And they’re all calculating their imminent signing bonus. Even you, dear New Times reader, must fantasize from time to time about becoming…

Garage Tapes: Destroyio Records and Guerrilleros de Nadie at Churchill’s

Last Thursday, Destroyio Records invaded Churchill’s again. And every species of Miami punk was there: Hialeah soccer hooligans, dreaded lezzies, Calle Ocho crusties, Subhumans squat rats, weekend anarchists, Misfits aerobics instructors, hardcore dudes with neck tattoos, etc. It was a mixed pit. Everyone sipped some kind of clear alcohol from…

Roofless Records and Yip Yip Bring the Pizza Party to Sweat Records Tomorrow

​Everyone’s dreamt about discovering a drippingly delicious pizza planet. But only Orlando’s Yip Yip had the courage to cross the cosmos in pursuit of pepperoni.Before becoming interstellar explorers, though, Jason Temple (Yip 1) and Brian Esser (Yip 2) were just like the rest of us. They watched the stars, dreaming…

Sweet Georgia, They Suck

If you can find a South Florida bookie taking bets on this Sunday’s b-ball squabble between the Harlem Globetrotters and the Washington Generals, let it ride on the underdog. After conceding something like 10,000 consecutive games to Harlem, the Generals are due for a win. And with the odds near…

Fishing for Homers in a Hurricane

Each and every South Florida sports fanatic’s got his own pro versus college fantasy. For example, who wouldn’t want to see a winner-takes-all brawl pitting the 1972 Dolphins against the 1987 ’Canes in the old Orange Bowl? Yeah, that would be awesome. But given certain deficiencies in current time-travel technology,…

Tegan and Sara

For a pixie-ish twin-sister act like Tegan and Sara, the inherent novelty and cuteness of your situation can be both a good and a bad thing. It’s good because two, physically identical, 20-something siblings writing songs and strumming guitars in perfect unison is an automatic marketing hook. It’s good because…

Anarchists For Broward

Lucky for us, Tom Gabel and crew are totally cool with young, hip Broward County — because, despite being Florida boys themselves, the members of Against Me! sure have no love for Dade County. The song “Miami” speaks its piece shout-along style: “Your gut’s expanding, your hairline’s receding/The sores are…

Garage Tapes: Otto Von Schirach at Artopia

Last night’s New Times banger got off to a lukewarm start. But by 10:30 p.m., the crowd was finally ready to fucking party. With unknown quantities of free Barefoot pinot grigio and a couple hundred pisscups of Magic Hat #9 turning their brains to sponges, people shed their inhibitions and…