George Zimmerman, the man charged with fatally shooting Trayvon Martin, stood before Circuit Judge Debra Nelson on Tuesday morning and told her he will not have a “stand your ground” hearing before his trial, per his attorney’s recommendation. Mark O’Mara, Zimmerman’s defense attorney, told Nelson that there was no requirement…
A day after Tim Tebow was released by the New York Jets for not quarterbacking good, he’s already getting the post-playing-days job offers. And by that, we mean radio. Big 105.9 FM’s the Paul and Young Ron Morning Show have offered Tebow a gig on their morning-drive radio program. And,…
The idea of swallowing down morning coffee alongside some front-page libertarian bloviation courtesy of a Koch-owned Sun Sentinel isn’t sitting too well with some. Last week, we sent out a smoke signal about the possible media sale everyone is talking about: The South Florida daily’s parent — the Tribune Co…
You know that guy who you follow on Twitter because he’s so stupid his tweets make you want to punch yourself in the face and hurl yourself out of the window? Mike Wallace is that guy. Today he jettisoned some plain stoopid comments regarding NBA player Jason Collins’ announcement that…
With the news of Jason Collins’ coming out, the backlash and commentary has been all over the map on both sides of the issue. And we knew some fellow pro athlete, somewhere, would say something dumb, while another praised Collins. We just didn’t know it would be from our very…
A University of Florida student decided to get naked, walk around the campus, and tell everyone he’s God. He also asked police officers to cut off his genitals. According to school newspaper the Alligator, Michael Joseph Silecchia, 19, ran around in the halls of Building 5 of the Campus Club…
“I’m a 34-year-old NBA center. I’m black. And I’m gay.” Washington Wizard — and ex-teammate of the Heat’s Mike Miller — Jason Collins has just become the first active openly gay player in the four major American sports (NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL). See also: – An Open Letter to LeBron…
Fire Ant tries to be charitable in assessing the Tea Party. Confused, fearful people in a confusing, frightening age, they’re mere pawns in the games of the rich and powerful. But when organized stupidity denies medical care to people in need, stupidity must be called to account. Take the Palm…
Three self-proclaimed Florida Panhandle “rednecks” done caught themselves a 277-pound bull shark using nothing but a baseball bat, their bare hands, and common sense. The perfectly redneck-named Cody Harlan, Jonathan Cook, and Robert Trutt went fishing for pompano off Okaloosa Island on Thursday morning when they spotted something in the…
If you ordered up a bounce house for Junior’s birthday or celebrated a quince with a pony ride in South Florida over the past few months, you might want to listen up. According to police, a suspected gangbanger with some nasty associations may have been splitting his time between law…
Months after stinging public rebuke and the condemnation of hundreds of dog owners, Broward County Commissioner Barbara Sharief has canceled requests for a pit bull ban and instead called for a “culture” that makes it mandatory to neuter and spay canines and more regulation on “backyard” dog breeding. Following two…
The Miami Heat was able to wrap up target practice with the Milwaukee Bucks on Sunday night by winning 88-77, giving the team its first-ever playoff sweep. The Bucks received a lesson in asshole-punching with a syllabus that included things like how to obliterate your opponent in four easy steps…
On Tuesday, the human pustule known as Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria reportedly decided that he was going to be the manager for a day and switched around the scheduled starting Marlins pitchers for a double-header against the Twins. Now Loria is saying he did not meddle with the Marlins pitching…
Hey, smoke heads: chill. Seriously. It’s going to be okay. Trust us There’s a lot of paranoid chatter out on the interwebs about the fallout from yesterday’s passage in the Florida house of the bong ban. It’s understandable. Basically everyone wants to know WHAT IT ALL MEANS? CAN I STILL…
The days of using your welfare card to make it rain on some fine ladies dancing on the pole, and then getting yourself some booze, is now officially a thing of the past. On Friday morning, with no debate, the Florida Senate unanimously approved the bill that will not allow…
A West Palm Beach woman pulled into a BP gas station and doused gasoline on her car windshield and trunk. She then took out a lighter and set the car on fire, claiming she was God. The woman’s dogs were reportedly in the car as it went up in flames…
Name yer poison. Especially if you’re messing with chemicals that have the potential to contaminate Florida’s groundwater supply. That’s the intent of legislation filed by State Sen. Jeff Clemens, which would create a registry of chemicals used by companies fracking for oil in the Sunshine State. See also: – America’s…
The Dolphins supposedly really, really, ridiculously wanted Oregon defensive end Dion Jordan. So they traded down from the 12th spot to the 3rd spot, swapping picks with the Oakland Raiders, and also handing over their 42nd overall pick for the right to take Jordan. And while nobody really knows if…
Dear Stoner, We understand how you’re feeling. Dark and formidable challenges lay before you. While the rest of the nation — especially Washington and Colorado — takes strides to normalize diplomatic relations with marijuana, Florida has moved in the other direction. Yesterday was the most recent declaration of war, but…
This week, the news out of the state legislature was the slam-dunk success of the bong ban. If the Senate pushes through the legislation as well, it means you’ll have to truck over the state line to arm up on smoking supplies. For smoke shop owners, it’s a possible kill-shot…
The Miami Dolphins officially unveiled their brand new uniforms and logo at a party in Sun Life Stadium on Thursday. At the event, which took place prior to the draft, classic and new uniforms clashed in an evolutionary showcase. New Times was in attendance to find out what fans thought…
TSA baggage screeners have been known to spot and confiscate varying things from travelers’ suitcases. Shaving cream, perfume bottles, water bottles, nail clippers, you know, things like that. Well now you can add pieces of human skull to that list According to the Broward Sheriff’s Office, TSA agents at Ft…
