The Miami Heat are in Milwaukee to resume their first-round best-of-seven series against the Bucks. Games 3 and 4 will be played at the BMO Harris Bradley Center tonight and Sunday.But according to 790 the Ticket’s morning radio show, the Heat has decided to stay at a different hotel than…
Bad news, potheads. The House voted 112-3 on a bill that bans the sale bongs and pipes that could be used to smoke marijuana. Ex-crackhead Rep. Darryl Rouson believes that The Pot is a gateway drug to things like The Crack. Therefore, he sponsored the bill to ban all bongs,…
The mother of the two Chechnyan men accused of perpetrating the Boston bombing has announced she’s in support of the same theory James Tracy has championed — namely, that the Boston bombing was a hoax. “There was no blood,” Zubeidat Tsarnaev told CNN. “It was paint.” See also: – FAU’s…
The NFL Draft is tonight. And all the experts and pundits and analysts have weighed in on what exactly the Miami Dolphins will do with their 12th overall pick (earned by the blood, sweat, and tears of yet another 7-9 finish). And the consensus is… the Dolphins will be selecting…
There are certain things one shouldn’t do immediately after netting charges that are abhorrent and humiliating, à la bestiality or anything involving children. Like, say, blogging about real estate. Even if you’re a realtor. The clients can wait. We promise…
House speaker, anti-weed guy, half-man/half-orange Republican John Boehner is about to become the father-in-law of a Rastafarian. Awwwww yeah, mon. Boehner’s eldest daughter, Lindsey, 35, is set to marry 38-year-old Jamaican-born Rastafarian Dominic Lakhan at a ceremony scheduled for May 10 in Delray. Eh mista Bey-ner. Why you so arinj?…
Man, you must be thinking, another day, another FAU story. Yup, the Boca Raton campus just keeps cranking out a constant stream of newsworthy misadventures. As you probably know, the latest happened just this week. The Daily Caller, went so far as to call FAU “America’s worst university” (to be…
On Wednesday, April 17, former U.S. Rep. Allen West posted threatening-sounding messages on his Facebook and Twitter accounts suggesting that Florida Atlantic University students had harassed his wife, Angela Graham-West, a trustee at the school. The post read, “I… have no issue with the insidious and incessant personal attacks by…
A St. Petersburg woman went and bought herself some weed and cocaine from a local drug dealer. The stash was about 50 bucks worth. But she soon realized that 50 dollars for drugs was way over her budget and that this impulse purchase was now going to leave her broke.So…
Every couple of weeks, Florida media trumpet a new invasion from some awful creature. Already in 2013, scientists have warned us about giant mosquitoes, giant rats, and giant snails (oh. my.). Little can be done to stop them. But the least New Times could do is prepare loyal readers for…
It would seem that corporal punishment and Florida would go hand in hand because derpy-derp!And now, thanks to Marion County, they do! Last September, Carol Ely, incoming School Board member and former principal at Ocala’s Shady Hill Elementary, came up with the fantastic idea of having kids who act up…
Jeb! Bush is speaking in Texas on Wednesday. Hillary Clinton is also slated to speak in Texas on Wednesday at a different event. Also in Texas on Wednesday: 2016 Presidential Hopeful Speculation!…
County leaders declared victory yesterday when Commissioner Sue Gunzburger changed her vote and agreed to a system for funding an emergency calling system. Problem is, repeatedly over the years, studies have shown these systems don’t live up to what they need to be. “There is no consistency in training, and…
John Goodman’s lawyers are looking for a way to get their client a retrial, and they just may have found it. Palm Beach County Circuit Judge Jeffrey Colbath is set to attend a hearing that will set some ground rules for an interview with Dennis DeMartin, who Goodman’s lawyers are…
The Milwaukee Bucks proved to be a feisty bunch as they tried to even their best-of-seven series with the Miami Heat on Tuesday night. Even with Brandon Jennings and Monta Ellis struggling for most of the game, Ersan Ilyasova, Larry Sanders, and Luc Mbah a Moute proved to be just…
After weeks of speculation and Twitter leaks and rumors and hearsay, it looks like the Miami Dolphins’ new logo and uniforms have finally, for real this time, been leaked. See also: -New Miami Dolphins Logo Might Have Been Leaked for Real This Time, Maybe -New Miami Dolphins Logo: The Best…
A female student at Coral Sunset Elementary School in Boca Raton was repeatedly molested by another student, claims the girl’s father in a lawsuit filed Monday. The boy also allegedly repeatedly sexually harassed and made inappropriate sexual comments toward the girl, according to the victim’s father. And worse, he says,…
The fine folks at Borscht have long been working on a Chris Bosh animated film that can be described only as “SERIOUSLY TRIPPING BALLS.” And it’s finally here. The Adventures of Christopher Bosh in the Multiverse features an animated Bosh and his misadventures through several dimensions and features music by…
So it’s been a week since the incidents in Boston occurred, and even though the evildoers have been killed and captured, people are naturally still jittery when it comes to explosions going off. Particularly explosions near other people. Particularly if those people are kids. With all that in mind, a…
Kionna Elliot, 18, and Payton Karr, 16, of Northeast High School in Broward unveiled their science-fair project in the East Garden of the White House on Wednesday afternoon.And the result was not only a display of pride from students repping our hometown but it also gave us a fantastic image…
A silver Hyundai had stopped at a Bradenton intersection at 1:45 am Saturday. And when the light turned green, it didn’t move. When cops arrived after responding to a call about a car just sitting in an intersection, they found the driver in the car with the motor running and…
FAU tenured Professor James Tracy, who took some withering backlash earlier this year when he questioned whether a gunman had actually killed children at Sandy Hook Elementary, is back at it. This time, Tracy — who makes more than $60,000 per year in public money and teaches courses on conspiracy…
