The epic partisan clusterfrick in Washington known as sequestration is sure to put the squeeze on government budgets down the line. But an immediate impact on Uncle Sam’s spending is already registering in military circles — specifically, deployment. What does that mean? Basically it means the neighborhood drug dealer is…
The environment hasn’t been a high priority for legislators at any level since Al Gore was wearing earth tones, but what’s happening in Florida under Rick Scott is downright scary. The Florida Department of Environmental Protection is in serious fox-guarding-henhouse mode. Its current secretary is Herschel Vinyard, whose background is in…
At tip-off, Jim Larranaga is on his feet, watching the first ugly minutes unroll from the sideline. It’s a Wednesday night in Tallahassee, the stage for a Rivalry Week hoops battle between Florida State and the University of Miami. Turnout is good. Red-faced frat boys war-whoop as ESPN2 cameras pan…
Better be careful with those glass pieces, because if one state rep has his way, you won’t be able to pick up a replacement anywhere in Florida. A new bill floating through the Legislature seeks to ban pipes and bongs from retail outlets. The legislation was filed last December. Right…
Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria took out a full-page ad in the local papers last week titled “Letter to Our Fans” (inexplicably, that letter failed to make its way to New Times!) to explain why he and his team suck so hard. The letter was probably the most pedantic, lacking self-awareness,…
On a recent overcast day in downtown Fort Lauderdale, a cluster of reporters watched a tanned blond man sashay into the federal courthouse dressed like the Joker: orange pants, purple socks, red pocket square, and a Technicolored iPhone in his hand. Murmurs immediately. “Who’s that?” one reporter asked. “He’s definitely…
With all this banning-pit-bull talk recently hitting up your daily bloggy blog, we still haven’t addressed the banning-pit-bull-owners issue. Now would be that time. Because, according to cops, a Fort Lauderdale man screw it, I’m gonna treat my pit bull like a soccer ball…
It’s been a landmine-filled week for Jeb! so far, on both of his two supposed strongest fronts: outreach to Hispanics and education “reform.”See also:-Jeb Education Group Benefiting Corporate Funders?-Jeb Won’t Stop Talking About Run for President On Monday, he got up on the Today show and 180’d his previous immigration…
Christopher Brennan didn’t like being put inside a Lee County deputy’s patrol car after cops were called in to investigate a disturbance at a Fort Myers resort at nearly 2 Monday morning. So Brennan thought he’d bemoan this treatment. And by “bemoan this treatment,” we mean he unzipped his pants…
According to the University of Florida, Palm Beach has the third-highest number of shark attacks among Florida counties with 62.See also: -Great White Sharks Spotted in Florida Waters And apparently, Palm Beach swimmers are crazy delicious, because a large number of migrating sharks have been spotted swimming close to the shore…
Voter fraud in Florida? OH DO TELL. Two ex-employees of Strategic Allied Consulting, which the GOPers hired to register voters prior to the November elections, were charged with a third-degree felony after they admitted they forged voter-registration forms, according to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement. And while the GOPers…
At the news of Hugo Chavez’s death, Venezuelan opposition leader Henrique Capriles was magnanimous: “At such a difficult time, we must show our deep love and respect to our Venezuela,” he tweeted. “My solidarity to all the family and followers of President Hugo Chavez. We appeal for unity.” He is…
The Florida Legislative sessions got kicked off this week, and since this is Florida, there’s no lack of fodder to get super riled up about and make loud angry noises and be an anonymous tough guy in the comments sections of blogs and on Twitter. Lawmakers will look at and…
At DeSoto County High School in Arcadia, freedom of speech doesn’t extend to silence. Amber Hatch, 15, sued its principal, its dean of student, and the local school board last week in Fort Myers federal court, claiming she was suspended last year after school administrators tried to coerce her from…
By now, you’ve surely seen Police Women of Broward County, the Cops-style TV show authorized by past Broward Sheriff Al Lamberti. The show had its share of problems when defendants claimed that they’d been unfairly arrested for pure entertainment value. The public defender’s office handled 11 such cases; most were…
It didn’t take long for the tweets to start rolling in. Weston, which has the highest percentage of Venezuelans of any Florida municipality besides Doral, rejoiced at the news of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez’s death. He reportedly died of infection. Across Broward County, the number of Venezuelans has more than…
If you’re seeing a bunch of news-media types on a beeline for Weston, there’s good reason: Hugo Chavez, the charismatic and controversial president of Venezuela, passed away today. The death occurred at 4:25 p.m., according to CNN. As well known for his U.S.-bashing and flamboyant behavior as his dictatorial strong…
Come April 25, you will be able to carry a small knife onto a plane. Also, sporting equipment, such as a pool cue, and golf clubs and hockey sticks. That’s because the TSA has announced that these items are no longer prohibited on board airplanes since they were banned after…
In case you weren’t aware, the Miami Heat went into a cold, miserable, decrepit city whose sole claim to fame is that they have a giant mall (nice job, you guys!) on Monday night and completely blew up the Minnesota Timberwolves’ collective assholes into oblivion by a score of 97-81…
If you want to sell a cat or dog in Florida, you may have to whip out a certificate proving that you’re allowed to do so, because a bill up for a vote in the Legislature regulating the sale of dogs and cats in Florida is a go. The bill…
Last Thursday, 37-year-old Jeff Bush was swallowed whole by a sinkhole that appeared under his bed in his Tampa home. The sinkhole was reportedly 30 feet wide and 60 feet deep, and, tragically, Bush has yet to even be found. The last anyone heard from Bush was when the other…
Former Florida Gov. (and little brother ta Dubya) Jeb Bush has been making the rounds on morning television shows to talk about his new book, which, COINCIDENTALLY, happens to be about probably the most important issue that will preoccupy us all from now until 2016. Imergration, y’all! But, as it…
