South Florida is littered with washed-up celebrities, from Vanilla Ice to Donald Trump. And while it's easy to riff on these past-their-prime peddlers of spectacle, they at least possess a modicum of some redeeming quality. In other words, they're not total failures.
But the newest edition to Palm Beach's gaggle of crazy, Amy Fisher, is simply the worst of the worst. Fisher, who just purchased a $575,000 crib in Wellington, so severely outtrashes every other celebrity in the Sunshine State -- and probably the U.S. -- that we had to compile a list of tawdry facts to remind readers how awful the "Long Island Lolita" really is. From shooting a woman in the face to getting pigeonholed in cougar porn, here's everything you need to know about Amy Fisher.
1. She's famous for shooting a woman in the face
The only reason Fisher is well-known is that at age 17, she shot Mary Jo Buttafuoco in the face. Fisher did it out of jealousy; she was sleeping with Mary Jo's much older, perpetually hideous, statutory-raping husband, Joey Buttafuoco.
2. Drew Barrymore Played Fisher in a Made-for-TV Movie
There have been at least three made-for-TV movies based on Amy Fisher's antics. Drew Barrymore immersed herself in the role of Fisher for 1993's creatively titled The Amy Fisher Story. Based on the below poster, we assume it was awesome.
3. Her self-published book made the New York Times bestseller list
After serving six years in prison, Fisher self-published "If I Knew Then," a 324-page explanation of why she had an affair with someone old enough to be her father and then blasted his wife in the face. The book made the New York Times paperback bestseller list for a week when it came out in 2004. We haven't read it, but a reader on Amazon called it a "pile of self-serving drivel by a narcissist." To be fair, it does have 3.6 out of 5 stars.
4. Her first televised reunion with Joey Buttafuoco was at the coin toss of the 2006 Lingerie Bowl
This one is so odd and so trashy that there's not much to elaborate. According to a news release announcing the Pay-Per-View event, "the erstwhile lovers" met on the 50-yard line "for an old-school, Western-style showdown."
5. She went into the porn industry
After writing a bestseller and having her life turned into three TV movies, the natural next step was the porn industry. Fisher's tryst with adult entertainment started with an allegedly leaked sex video that she got all fired up and litigious over but then progressed into girl-on-girl romps, fake tits, and atrocious stomach tattoos. She recently starred in My Friend's Hot Mom, My Wife's Hot Friend, and Seduced by a Cougar. Nothing like being pigeonholed in porn!
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!