Are you a soon-to-be deposed dictator, a drug lord tired of stashing your cash in Home Depot buckets, or a recently minted tech billionaire? Do you dream of calling South Florida’s muggy tropical climate home?
If so, here are three real estate opportunities that may interest you. The good people at Point2Homes have ranked the 20 most expensive residences for sale in the United States this fall. Shockingly, not a single one is located in Miami, but you have solid choices in Broward and Palm Beach. (The beaches are better, anyway.)
Heads up to white collar criminals: If you think you’re going to get busted anytime soon, now’s the time to throw down some cash for this 15.65-acre Mediterranean-style compound. Between the PGA-standard golf course, the botanical garden with 1,500 species of trees and plants, and the multistory treehouse, you definitely won’t get bored while you’re on house arrest with a GPS ankle monitor. Plus, the listing promises “rare total privacy,” which will come in handy when the news crews turn up. And it has a whopping 33 bedrooms and 47 bathrooms, so you definitely won’t get cabin fever. At least, not until the feds come to seize it.
Recommended for: Medicare fraudsters; lesser-known warlords.
Are “subtle” and “tasteful” words that have no place in your vocabulary? If so, Le Palais Royal is perfect for you. What the realtor describes as “Versailles-esque waterfalls” and a three-tier, 26-foot fountain greet you as you drive through the gate, which is coated in 22-karat gold leaf. Inside, it has eleven bedrooms, four of which have their own private jacuzzi, a 30-car underground garage, and an IMAX theater. Oh, and a massive fireplace, which should definitely come in handy during South Florida’s 70-degree winters. When the house first came on the market two years ago, New Times did some digging and discovered it appears to have been built for a former strip club owner, which actually explains everything.
Recommended for: King of Diamonds’ Broward County expansion; oligarchs with questionable human rights records.
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Want to live in Palm Beach but can’t decide if you’d rather be on the beach or the Intracoastal Waterway? With this sprawling 10-bedroom, 26-bathroom family compound, you don’t have to choose. A secret tunnel under Route A1A takes you to the Atlantic Ocean — where you’ll find a separate two-bedroom beach house with an infinity pool — from the main house, which overlooks the Lake Worth lagoon and has its own boathouse with two motorized lifts. Built in the style of an Italian renaissance palazzo, it includes amenities like a 20,000-bottle carved limestone wine cellar, a chef’s kitchen, and a private library and billiards room. While the circa-1930 estate gives off old-money vibes, the current owner is Netscape cofounder Jim Clark, who’s selling because he and his wife “are no longer spending as much time in Palm Beach,” according to the Wall Street Journal.
Recommended for: Taylor Swift; venture capitalist bros who wish they could date Taylor Swift.