Here's What It's Like Holding a "Grab 'Em by the Pussy" Sign at a Trump Rally

Garrett Siegel, a local artist and graphic designer, had a novel idea for yesterday's rally in West Palm Beach. He wanted someone to stand outside with a sign that said, “Grab ‘Em by the Pussy.”

“It’s kinda performance art, it’s kinda not performance art,” he explained. “I thought it would be an awesome picture for Instagram.”

I decided to take him up on his offer.

At the rally, where Trump gave an unhinged, conspiracy-theory-laden speech denying the numerous sexual assault allegations made against him over the past week, the sign drew quite a few critics.

“There are some girls who are just literally whores,” a frat-bro type said. “Just whoring their pussies out around rich guys to make money.”

“What about the four people who Bill Clinton raped?” a woman who had to be at least 70 asked. She was wearing a hot pink Women for Trump T-shirt. “If you go on YouTube, there’s a video from 2008 of Obama showing off that he has an erection and laughing about it. Look it up.”

A soccer-mom type with two young blond kids came over. “Hillary Clinton wants to open all the borders,” she said, even though this had nothing to do with the sign. “How do you feel about that?”

I shrugged. “We’d probably be able to get better food around here.”

That infuriated her. “Muslims are going to come in and rape my daughter!” she yelled. Her daughter just stared at the ground.

“I’m sorry,” I said, trying to take notes with one hand while holding up the sign with the other. “Did you say that Muslims are going to come and rape your daughter?”

“Don’t twist my words around!” she answered.

By then, a crowd had gathered. Some guy was filming it all, so I decided to ask the group how they felt about ferrets.

“I think anyone who has a ferret in their house is dirty,” the frat bro answered. “It’s a rat with a tail.”

No one got the reference to Rudy Giuliani’s 1999 meltdown in which he told a ferret lover to consult a psychologist about "devoting your life to weasels,” which is fine. It’s an obscure one. (But seriously, listen to him flip out on a guy from a ferret owners' association when you have time. It’s fantastic.) One of the blonde ladies asked why I didn’t want to talk about the real issues.

“Ferrets are a real issue,” I told her.

“This is the level of discourse coming from the left,” she replied, shaking her head.

After about half an hour, I unlocked my car to throw the sign in the back. The Trump supporters noticed it had out-of-state plates and collectively lost their shit. “RHODE ISLAND!!!!” several of them screamed in unison. I’m not sure what was so offensive about Rhode Island besides the fact that it’s a blue state, but several people put on their Hillary Clinton masks and started dancing around the car like deranged clowns.

I got out of there as fast as I could.