Cowboys and cowgirls strut their stuff at the South

FRI 9/16

Boot, scoot, and boogie on down to Manhattan South (6890 Powerline Rd., Fort Lauderdale) Friday if you really want to learn to take a bull by the, uh, horn. Loosely translated, this predominantly gay bar is hosting Rodeo Night in conjunction with the Florida Gay Rodeo Association (didn't know there was such a thing, didja?), where patrons can learn the two step, the tush-push, and other Western-type jigs in a welcoming environment. Lessons will be held starting at 8 p.m. Don't worry if you don't have a pardner; they'll lasso one up for ya.

Are you wondering how to determine who leads if both partners are male, female, or manly? The answer is simple: He or she who wears the hat takes the reins. Give it a try, but keep checking the mirrored walls to find out if you move like an injured elk. If that turns out to be the case, turn your pointed steel-toes out, grab a stool at the bar, cock your hat, order up a Beam and Coke, and wait for the all-male kicking performance to begin. Call 954-971-1449, or visit www.manhattansouth.com. -- Riki Altman

Viva Lauderhill!

Shake it like a maraca

SUN 9/18

Hey, gringo, ready to get shown up by a salsa-dancing chica? Aren't we all? At the first annual Lauderhill Hispanic Festival you can pump those hips and shimmy those feet. While there, you might as well learn how to do it right. Latin Beat dance studios will be giving free lessons all day long.

You need music to dance? Three words, Tito Puente Junior. That's right, the son of the late, great timbales player himself will be there. No one can resist the Prince of Latin Dance. Since man cannot live on ass-shaking alone, a "taste of Lauderhill" will be set up to give tourists and turistas a spicy, tasty bite from south of the border. Thirsty? For once, it is okay to drink all you want (within reason) because the profits go to the Kiwanis Club of Lauderhill. It all starts at 10 a.m. at the Lauderhill Sports Complex (7500 W. Oakland Park Blvd., Lauderhill). Call 954-730-3008, or visit www.lauderhill-fl.gov. -- Jake Smith

Clams and Toots

Do you smell fish?

FRI 9/16

This weekend, the beach near the Hollywood Broadwalk (A1A and Johnson Street) will be crowded with musicians, artists, and enough dead sea-creatures to choke a Great White. It's the fourth annual Hollywood Beach Clambake with Toots and the Maytals, when art exhibits will be on display and restaurants will be serving up all sorts of high-protein creepy crawlies from the ocean floor. There will be a bonfire at 7 p.m. on Friday. This year, reggae giant Toots Hibbert headlines the shindig at 8 p.m. Saturday, Bill "The Sauce Boss Wharton" (who cooks gumbo onstage) plays at 6 p.m. Sunday, and a group called -- dig this -- Hypnotic Clambake jams daily. Call 954-926-3377, or visit www.hollywoodbeachclambake.com. -- Jake Smith

Monk-y Business

SAT 9/17

Ten years ago, the Chinese government kidnapped the Panchen Lama from Tibet. OK, so the Chinese called it putting him under "house arrest." The bizarre thing is, he was only six years old. Tibetans still don't know the whereabouts of the Panchen Lama, but they consider him the second most important figure behind the Dalai Lama. Check out the free screening of Tibet's Stolen Child (as well as Biography of the Dalai Lama) at the Tubten Kunga Center (665 SE 10th St., Deerfield Beach) at 6:30 p.m. Call 954-421-6224, or visit www.tubtenkunga.org -- Deirdra Funcheon

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Riki Altman
Deirdra Funcheon
Jake Smith