Mr. Entertainment is a South Florida musician and has been a herald of the local scene since the 19-somethings. He serves as unofficial Musical Mayor of Hollywood.
Since it is Valentine’s Day this weekend, I felt a love theme was in order for this story, so I sought out South Florida’s self-proclaimed "Sexiest Band South of the Bible Belt," the Gun Hoes. These surf- and ska-inspired psych-pop garage rockers have been dazzling the lads and lasses since 2011 with their sly pizzazz. So who are these anxious boys rocking out for all you lucky ones?
A Libra who prefers chocolates to roses, Gabriel plays guitar and croons. He enjoys margaritas, the sounds of Bowie get him in the mood, and he majors in boogie-ology.
Another Libra who enjoys the finer things in life, Nico plays bass and is a culinary clairvoyant with a penchant for Cocoa Puff Old Fashioneds. He has the power to foresee a hangover by staring into a "half-full glass of wine” and gets turned on by the smooth psych sounds of Tame Impala.
A Pisces through and through, Anthony plays drums, eats the chocolate off your roses, drinks Hemingways, and is aroused by any old sound but prefers the original R&B smooth jams he performs to himself into the mirror under the moniker of Ringtone. He's also an excellent foot masseur and fortuneteller.
The Gun Hoes have released multiple cassettes on a handful of cool labels like Cheap Miami, Blood Oath Slumber Party, and California label Lollipop Records, under which they've released their latest, Sex and Violins. Next month, the boys are off to Texas to play some showcases with label mates at SXSW. This stuff could be kissing cousins to music on labels like Burger Records or Hardly Art.
I head to Miami to meet with these straight-up silly dudes, arriving at practice to find them already at it and all business. The Gun Hoes definitely don't function on Miami time. And while they know how to goof off, they take their set seriously, because as much fun as it is to be in a band, it only all comes together when it's about the music.
Echo-heavy vocals with a rock-steady bass and stripper beat have me thinking of cool, fun punk like the Dead Milkmen with a twist of Gene Vincent. The whole set is great, and though the band may borrow from places, it has its own distinct sound.
We share a bottle of wine together and a little H&R puff-n-stuff and reminisce about recording techniques and songs past, present, and future. I again come to find rock 'n' roll is in good hands with these guys, and you will too. Because if I learned anything here, it's that these Hoes want you to be theirs.
The Gun Hoes play at the Poorhouse tonight, Friday, February 12; A Valentine’s show at the Caves in Miami on Saturday, February 13; and at Kill Your Idol in Miami Beach on March 1. Then they're off to Texas, with lust.
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