TMZ reported that the one and only Britney Spears was the object of attention in a three-way bidding war between a trio of hotels lobbying to become the home of her forthcoming Vegas extravaganza.
Waitaminute... Britney Spears is going to have a show in Vegas?
Why didn't anybody call us?
After the cut: Britney does Sin City! But how?
5. Moulin Rouge-style Extravaganza
This is the most likely scenario, so let's get it out of the way.
Presumably, everybody who runs these joints -- which hang taut as their metaphorical limbs are pulled in opposite directions by the forces of vestigial, pre-Internet, old America sleaze, and true kitsch, slathered like a boiled hot dog with heavy mayonaise in immersive "Bow to Mickey"esque compulsory sacrificial almost-literal burning of cash -- is loaded. At her most competent, Britney had a budget. So maybe we'll finally get back to full-throttle mode, a la the anancondas and x-treme erotic Jazzercise of the late '90s and early 2000s.