Michael Jackson's Five Duet Partners in the Underworld; a Three-Year Anniversary Dedication

Much like on the day Kennedy was assassinated, people all over the world also remember where they were when the news dropped that Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, had passed away. So, OK, this is a drastic overstatement. But since it only happened three years ago today, you really should remember where you were when Louis Aguirre told South Florida of the death of the guy who taught you to grab our crotch while tipping your hat. Once you get to the end of this blog, you'll know where the New Times Broward Palm Beach music editor was on that strange afternoon, and there's video.

We were imagining MJ chillin' in the afterlife -- there was some debate on where he ended up, you know, heaven or hell -- and thinking: Who's old Jacko singing duets with in that realm beyond our own? What follows is a listicle of relative taste outlining some duet ideas and partners Mr. Jackson might be pairing up with in the underworld.

5. Whitney Houston
The fact that two of pop's highest ranking royalty croaked within three years of each other, and at such young ages, kind of makes fame look about as fortunate as those last scenes in Love Potion No. 9. The point about the duets though is, who the hell wouldn't want to hear these two badasses harmonize? Check out this "Rock with You"/"I Want to Dance with Somebody" mashup and imagine these two getting down in the house of Hades.

4. Donna Summer
Donna Summer and MJ may have both had their last dances on this planet, but it's possible they're still feeling musical disco love on a fluffy cloud together. Catch this bizarre video featuring Jackson singing with Stevie Wonder, Summer, Quincy Jones, Christopher Cross, Michael McDonald, Lionel Richie, Kenny Loggins, and other super famous folks. It's likely the Summer/Jackson duet in heaven (or hell) had a bit more forced sensuality than this jam up there.

3. Amy Winehouse
These two together would win the category for "Hottest Mess Duet," maybe of all time. But just imagine Michael making "Back to Black" even doper, and maybe even darker in the afterlife. That'd be spooky cool.

2. Captain Beefheart
Of course this pair would be mind-blowing, creepy, funky, and make people of all musical madnesses shift in their seats, but it's also just an excuse to put up this video of Captain Beefheart from My Old Grey Whistle Test.

1. Andrew Gold
Who is Andrew Gold, you ask? He's the writer of the Golden Girls theme song. Remember the episode where Rose and Dorothy write the song "Miami is Nice" and perform it at the piano that suddenly appears in their living room just for this episode? Switch out Rose for Michael Jackson and Dorothy for Andrew Gold. Enjoy that in your head.

Now... The moment you've all been waiting for, where this music editor was and doing when MJ passed. It was Churchill's Pub. A woman of the night, Sugar Lips, shot this video. We kind of thought this would go viral. Surprisingly, it didn't.

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