There is an entire Wikipedia page dedicated to Kanye West's hefty list of music accolades.
It takes about 13 scrolls to get through and highlights the rapper's 112 wins and 374 nominations at a host of award shows -- the Grammys, BET Hip-Hop, BMI Urban, and MTV Video Music awards, to name a few.
But nowhere among "Top Urban Song" and "Best Collaboration" ('Ye actually snagged an MTV Video Music Award for that unpleasant, alien-sex-glorifying collab with Katy Perry on "E.T.") is Kanye's other honor recognized: the WTF Lyric Award.
Yeezy is often praised for compelling lyricism on heralded albums like The College Dropout and Graduation, but the high-art, Kardashian-lovin' couture slinger has dropped some nonsensical lines that are truly harebrained (with plenty off his latest, Yeezus).
Even though we love him, here are the ten most ridiculous Kanye West lyrics:
10. "We on a galaxy that haters cannot visit/That's my reality so get off my Scott Disick." -- "The One"
I know 'Ye, you wanted to endow Scott with a smidgen of swag, but there's no saving him. As if the world hasn't worshipped the Kardashian tribe enough, we don't need the family's reckless rich boy feeling any more self-important about his schlong. Oh wait, and Disick is the star of the latest Yeezus trailer.
9. "Chasin' love, all the bittersweet hours lost/Eatin' Asian pussy, all I need was sweet and sour sauce." -- "I'm in It"
This came from the Michael Jordan of music? Kanye West is known to feverishly expose racism in his rhymes, but he clearly fed (pun intended) into this stereotype.
8. "A monster about to come alive again/Soon as I pull up and park the Benz/We get this bitch shaking like Parkinson's." -- "On Sight"
Kanye's proved the size of his balls with this heartless gibe. The rhyme on Yeezus' opening track sparked stern criticism from Steve Ford, chief executive at Parkinson's UK, who said, "Kanye West has shown an inexcusable level of stupidity and cruelty towards people living with an incurable condition." What kind of example are you setting for baby North, 'Ye?
7. "At the mall there was a seance/Just kids, no parents/Then the sky filled with heron/(I saw the devil) in a Chrysler LeBaron/And the hell, it wouldn't spare us/And the fires did declare us/But after that, took pills, kissed an heiress/And moved her back in Paris." -- "Dark Fantasy"
Maybe Kanye is painting a dramatic scene of a youngster exploring his imagination, or maybe, the words just don't rhyme. "Pare-ahnts"? The verse is also classic pseudo-philosophical West, a yarn of adolescence corrupted by the Evil One. And of course, his satanic limerick needed a happy ending -- 1 Night in Paris?
6. "I just talked to Jesus/He said, 'What up Yeezus?'/I said, 'Shit I'm chilling/Trying to stack these millions.'" -- "I Am a God"
There's a 99 percent chance this convo would not go down like this.
Then again, Kanye's walked with Jesus before, and the rapper's new moniker hints at his godly lineage. Hey, that 1 percent is lookin' more plausible. But why would the Savior and Redeemer of the World give a hoot about his cash stack?
"I Am a God" is littered with WTF moments, from Yeezy's parrot talk (the phrase "I am a God" is spewed exhaustedly on repeat) to more trite food cliches ("French-ass restaurant" = "Hurry up with my damn croissants"). But this line really highlights 'Ye's hubris. "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle..." Anyone?
5. "Don't try to treat me like I ain't famous/My apologies are you into astrology/'Cause um, I'm tryin' to make it to Uranus." -- Jadakiss' "Gettin' It In"
Almost every Kanye lyric list has ridiculed this gem. We know, the song title and this sestina express his "backdoor" motives. But a quick lesson on the difference between astronomy and astrology would have really helped him score.
4. "Uh, black girl sippin' white wine/Put my fist in her like a civil rights sign." -- "I'm in It"
The grotesque imagery on "I'm in It" deserves a revisit. I understand West's black/white juxtaposition with the clenched hand passion of civil rights activists, but, in the form of fisting someone's vagina?! I don't think the movement's pundits would be too fond of that.
3. "Pockets on shrek, rockets on deck/Tell me what's next? Alien sex/Imma disrobe you/Then Imma probe you." -- Katy Perry's "E.T."
According to Kanye West, Martians adhere to the same human adage of money, cars, and sex. Although the probing bit is creepy (kinky in a LARP kind of way), along with KP's "Fill me with your poison" chant, we'll consider this one of Yeezy's more exploratory endeavors.
2. "How much they hate it, very/Kiss girls like Katy Perry/I am never sprung but I Springer, Jerry." -- Jay-Z's "Hate"
I can't help but think Lil Wayne's vapid punch-line rap was Kanye's inspiration. Cue the unforgettable Weezy cameo on Shawty Lo's "They Know": "I am the shit/They just poop stains."
1. "By the way nigga, you should fuckin' quit, nigga." -- "H.A.M." with Jay-Z
OK, so no attempt to rhyme here. And this diss is kind of stale. Granted, out of context the line reads even more slow-witted, but that's not the point. If you're the His Airness of rap music, don't let Jay outrhyme you (which he effortlessly does on verse two). 'Specially if you're going hard as a mofo.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!