LGBTQ

Ten Things That Will Get You Laid on Spring Break

The time has come again to hit on sauced-up college kids way outta your league and appropriate age group. It's spring break!

Blend in discretely. Thankfully, the local shops along A1A have plenty of funky-colored T-shirts with catchy phrases. Every item is guaranteed to draw attention, without piquing the suspicion of a young horny coed. The trick is knowing what kind of vibe you want to give off.

Allow us to be your guide as your peruse the aisles of your favorite Fort Lauderdale beach gift shop. As connoisseurs of tacky shit, following our advice will get you laid. Enjoy this list, and remind the wedding photographer to tag us on Instagram.

KEEP NEW TIMES BROWARD-PALM BEACH FREE... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Anthony Hernandez