Hey y'allll, it's Boat Show weekend in Fort Laudy! Meaning it's time to give the ol' girl a nice spit shine, call up all yer sea dogs, and start prepping the coolers. If you're among the elite locals who claim ownership to a water vessel with a motor, congratulations! You know exactly what #LaudyLyf is all about, and are most likely a huge badass. You've probably also developed that minor celebrity ability to discern your true friends based on who shows out for your boating excursions versus every other less cool invite.
No matter how you get there, if you do make it onto an actual boat this weekend, you are going to need a solid playlist to blast from those upgraded Bose speakers, stand out from the crowd and make sure all the sad, gawking landlubbers know just how much more fun you're having than they are.
To start you off, here are ten tried-and-true boat bangers to help set the mood out on the water this weekend and really celebrate that yacht life.
The Lonely Island - I'm On A Boat (ft. T-Pain)
Yachting is approximately 99% all about the bragging rights, a fact which the geniuses of The Lonely Island honed in on way back in '09. To really drive home the message, be sure you and your friends shout out these extra aggressive lyrics as you slide by the crowds:
Daryl Hall & John Oates - I Can't Go For That (No Can Do)
God bless yacht rock. The '80s were a fantastic time to be out on a boat. No one cared about skin cancer yet, everyone was on uppers, and dudes were way less shy about showing off some leg. The vibes were just right for sexy sax solos, harmonized male falsettos, and curly mullets, and Hall & Oates knew exactly how to capitalize on that.
Aaliyah - Rock The Boat
When you're about three sangrias deep, laying out letting the sun kiss your bronzed skin, and you peep your glistening bae coming toward you from across the deck. You know what we're talking about.
Justin Timberlake - Señorita
We'd be remiss not to include some JT on this list, and "Señorita" seems the most apropos for the situation. White boy R&B with a Latin flare? It pretty much screams Fort Lauderdale. Not to mention it's got just the right amount of sexy-chill for cruising the intracoastal, with the potential to incite a li'l hip grinding as well. Turn it uppp!
When is a Biggie throwback ever a bad idea? This one's for when you're ready to relinquish captain duties for a bit, lay back, crack a cold beverage and kick it with the homies while taking it all in.
This is the life, you'll think to yourself as you cross your arms over your hot, sweaty chest and breathe in that salty air, I made it.
Bob Marley - Jammin'
It doesn't matter how old you are or where you're from; if you can't vibe to the simple perfection of this classic Marley jam, we don't want to be your friend. Trust, you will reach your peak chill while bumping "Jammin" on a boat.
Puff Daddy - Been Around The World (ft. The Notorious B.I.G. & Mase)
As soon as the first bars of this track play out, you will instantly feel about 1857697x cooler. We don't sweat the player haters, especially when we're out on our boats. Bump it loud and bump it proud.
Brad Paisley - Crushin It
Brad Paisley makes everyone feel good about drinking and having fun. This song isn't just about physically crushing your empties (although that is awesome by itself); it's about owning your party, holding up your Bud Light high and proclaiming to all, "Yes, I am awesome!"
Ludacris - Area Codes
Yachts = instant panty-droppers (sorry). Y'all know once this Boat Show is over you'll be back out on the open waters, cruising for some fresh ladies with bikinis and high heels at the ready.
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Duh x1000. Every boater needs an entire Jimmy Buffett playlist in their repertoire, but at the very least, this obligatory diddy will carry you through.
Happy boating, Fort Lauderdale! Stay safe and mind your fellow yachties this weekend!