South Florida is littered with C-list celebrities, from Vanilla Ice to Donald Trump. Although it's easy to riff on these past-their-prime peddlers of spectacle, they at least possess a modicum of some redeeming quality.
But the newest edition to Palm Beach's gaggle of crazy, Amy Fisher, is simply the worst of the worst. Fisher, who just purchased a $575,000 crib in Wellington, so severely outtrashes every other celebrity in the Sunshine State — and probably the U.S. — that we had to compile a list of tawdry facts to remind readers how awful the "Long Island Lolita" really is. Here's everything you need to know about Amy Fisher:
1. She's famous for shooting a woman in the face.
The only reason Fisher is well-known is that at age 17, she shot Mary Jo Buttafuoco in the face. Fisher did it out of jealousy; she was sleeping with Mary Jo's much older, perpetually hideous, statutory-raping husband, Joey Buttafuoco.
2. Drew Barrymore Played Fisher in a made-for-TV movie.
There have been at least three made-for-TV movies based on Amy Fisher's antics. Drew Barrymore immersed herself in the role of Fisher for 1993's creatively titled The Amy Fisher Story. Based on the poster, we assume it was awesome.
3. Her self-published book made the New York Times bestseller list.
After serving six years in prison, Fisher self-published If I Knew Then, a 324-page explanation of why she had an affair with someone old enough to be her father and then blasted his wife in the face. The book made the New York Times paperback bestseller list for a week when it came out in 2004. We haven't read it, but a reader on Amazon called it a "pile of self-serving drivel by a narcissist." To be fair, it does rate 3.6 out of five stars.
4. Her first televised reunion with Joey Buttafuoco was at the coin toss of the 2006 Lingerie Bowl.
This one is so odd and so trashy that there's not much to elaborate. According to a news release announcing the pay-per-view event, "the erstwhile lovers" met on the 50-yard line "for an old-school, Western-style showdown."
5. She went into the porn industry.
After writing a bestseller and having her life turned into three TV movies, the natural next step was the porn industry. It started with an allegedly leaked sex video that she got all fired up and litigious over but then progressed to atrocious stomach tattoos. She recently starred in My Friend's Hot Mom, My Wife's Hot Friend, and Seduced by a Cougar.