China already owns the U.S. government. It's just a matter of time till Chinese money also buys the American media. But look at the bright side. After that happens, we can expect wicked-cool videogame reenactments of the day's biggest stories. Like the one below, which offers two animated versions of the mysterious events that led to Tigers Woods' crash in Central Florida:
Now all we need is someone who speaks Chinese to tell this station about the Scott Rothstein case. I'm picturing something that looks a lot like Vice City.