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Deerfield Beach Is the Best Neighborhood in Broward, and Here's Why

Welcome to Deerfield Beach, the best neighborhood in Broward. Back in 1890, a group of people settled in a field where countless deer roamed, so they named it Deerfield, duh, right? Well, come some 40 years later, tourism was down, and the people of Deerfield decided now might be a good time to mention THEY HAVE A BEACH! They chose wisely, because adding the word "beach" to literally anything makes it sound so much better; go ahead, try it.

Winn-Dixie. Winn-Dixie BEACH.

Hand Sanitizer. Hand Sanitizer BEACH.


See also: Coral Springs Is the Best Neighborhood in Broward, and Here's Why

As you can imagine people heard this, probably in a saloon or washing their clothes in a river, and decided that the place sounded a lot better than where they were, so they relocated.

And then all frickin' hell broke loose.

Prior to the name change, Deerfield was known for its pineapples, tomatoes, green beans, and squash. Afterward, it became known for its beautiful beaches, tourist-attracting settings, and squash. Deerfield Beach has feel to it; it's got character; it has secrets!


OK, it wasn't, but it's still the best neighborhood in Broward, and here's why.

Quiet Water Park has a Ski Rixen cable water skiing system, one of only 79 in the world, just 79! Save the ski-riven cable water skiing systems! Support your local ski-riven cable water skiing (takes deep breath) system! Deerfield Beach is home to one of only, OK, you got the point. At first glance, this contraption is filled under "nah, I'm good," but once you give it a whirl, it's pretty badass. The one drawback is if you fall off in the middle, you have to climb up the side of the lake and walk your happy ass back to the beginning.

Deerfield Beach pier is home to the $2 date. It's just a buck each to stroll down the Deerfield Beach pier, one of the most beautiful places in Broward. The pier makes for a great date, place to fish with your dad, or even a date while fishing with your dad, but that just seems a little weird, and your chances of getting a kiss drastically decrease.

The Renaissance Fair is superawesome. Next taking place February 8 to March 16, the annual Deerfield Beach Renaissance Festival returns to the area. Wenches, Robin Hood, Gypsy dancers, and normal dudes who make you call them "Lorde," this festival toes the line between "creepy" and "festive" pretty perfectly.

Charm City Burgers are amazeballs. Good Ole', Cowboy, Volcano, or Big Sloppy style. Read that sentence, damn it, read it! The Gobbler Burger, the Mobster Burger, the Hippie Burger, the Big Fat Greek Burger, seriously, what the hell? I mean, they call them "Chicken Sammies"; it's totally impossible this place is not awesome.

See also: Lake Worth Is the Coolest City in South Florida

About a quarter of the homes in Deerfield have someone over 65 living in them, making them the wisest town in Broward. Old people are the best. They're too old to give a shit what you think, and most of the time they are mostly just worried about what they will eat later.

There is room for you! As of 2010, 21.8 percent of the 42,671 homes were vacant, which means there are plenty of places to stay. Couple this with all the older people and it's no wonder Deerfield Beach is so beautifully quiet sometimes.

Deerfield Beach has Trolley Tours! Go tell someone you went on a trolley tour, say that crap to someone, BLOWS THEIR MIND EVERY TIME. The trolley website (yes, I was just on a trolley website) boasts of a 90-minute narrated sightseeing trip around Fort Lauderdale aboard a quaint trolley. You got a quaint trolley, Coral Springs? Didn't think so. "Lolley the Trolley" is located on Military Trail, whenever you feel like getting your trolley on. #TeamQuaintTrolley

Deerfield Island Park! Located on an island bordered by the Royal Palm Waterway, Hillsboro Canal, and the Intracoastal Waterway, Deerfield Island Park is an awesome place to take kids; it's a place they never will forget. The 8.5-acre mangrove is filled with swamp, wildlife, and two nature trails. Self-guided tours are available, but don't do that, because you're not Bear Grylls, and this isn't Man vs. Wild.

The Beach Life. There are different kinds of beach life in South Florida; some go fast, some go Jimmy Buffett chill speed. Deerfield Beach isn't the fast one. I've always found Deerfield Beach as the perfect place to go if what you're looking for is just a calm, simple break from all the fast things going on in and around your life.

Deerfield Beach is the best neighborhood in Broward, and that's why.

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