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EBT Cards Officially Banned at Florida Strip Clubs

The days of using your welfare card to make it rain on some fine ladies dancing on the pole, then getting yourself some booze, is now officially a thing of the past.

Gov. Rick Scott signed bill HB 701 on Thursday, making the use of state-issued electronic benefits cards at strip clubs, liquor stores, or casinos verboten.

You're just going to have to get a second or third job to get yourself a lap dance now, poor people.

Welfare recipients on Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) get a form of debit card called an electronic benefit transfer (or EBT) from the state. They operate differently from traditional food stamps in that the cards can be used to buy just about anything without any restrictions. Except for booze and boobies in your face, that is.

The bill was sponsored by Republican state Rep. Jimmie Smith, who said that voting against the EBT strip-club ban was like "voting for lap dances on taxpayer dollars."

Of course, this is the same Jimmie Smith who once sponsored a bill requiring people to pass a drug test to receive government assistance.

So, to recap things so far: Thanks to the Florida Legislature, we're closer to not being able to buy ourselves a bong in the state, people won't be getting medical insurance, and poor people won't be able to go to the titty bar or get a couple of beers.

So, we're basically Utah now.

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