Anyone with a passing interest in sports is about to be inundated with talk of King James versus Prince Durant, Oklahoma City versus Miami, a wholesome young crop of basketball players versus the most hated/worshiped trio in the NBA. Sports rivalries are fun, especially the kind that are gratuitously hyped to increase Nielsen ratings.
So while it's still early, before the Miami Heat face the Oklahoma City Thunder in the first game of the NBA finals tomorrow, we've compiled a highly unscientific list of reasons Miami is clearly superior in every way.*
Miami: Face-eating zombie
Oklahoma City: Timothy McVeigh
Miami: South Beach
Oklahoma City: South of Kansas
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Miami: Hates Texas
Oklahoma City: Hates Texas
Miami: Gloria Estefan
Oklahoma City: Toby Keith
Oklahoma: Fried cow testicles
*None of these reasons has anything to do with basketball.