4

Rush Limbaugh Playing Willy Wonka -- Except You Get Blindfolded and Taken to His Place

^
Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of South Florida and help keep the future of New Times free.

To most people, winning the golden ticket means you get to go to eat candy with an eclectic chocolatier for a day.

If you win Rush Limbaugh's golden ticket, you get blindfolded and taken to his studio in Palm Beach and that means you already bought some of the crap tea-like product he's been peddling for a few months.

Maybe Limbaugh didn't explain it the best way possible, by starting off with the phrase, "You will be blindfolded from the moment you leave your hotel."

Four extremely lucky winners will win two golden EIB tickets. The golden EIB ticket allows exclusive access to the Southern Command here in sunny south Florida. You will be blindfolded from the moment you leave your hotel. We're gonna put you up in a hotel for three days and two nights here in lovely south Florida near the Southern Command. When you leave your hotel and come to Southern Command, you will be blindfolded. The blindfold will not be removed until you are inside the Southern Command bunker.

Like the egomaniac he is, Limbaugh explained today that he wanted to raise the prices of his tea during the promotion "due to the incredible value of meeting me."

Lesson of the day: Don't buy Limbaugh's tea unless you're fully prepared to get kidnapped and taken to big-boy's place, where you can watch him complain about libruhls all day.


New Times on Facebook | The Pulp on Facebook | Matthew Hendley on Facebook | Twitter | E-mail Matthew Hendley |


Keep New Times Broward-Palm Beach Free... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering South Florida with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.