Take poor "Fire," whose recent dismal hook-up with "Cynthia" began with the admonition that she didn't kiss and "I don't like my hair messed with." By-the-numbers sex included "no sounds except to say ouch it hurts occasionally and can I move my leg down." Then she had the nerve to ask for a tip. Yikes.
It seems, though, that there's a level of debauchery below which even Johns and their advocates won't sink. Neil, the board's Ashcroftian overseer, has now prohibited the use of words like "whore" or "slut."
"Publishing degrading remarks gratuitously is wrong and shouldn't be allowed," Neil stated in an announcement last month. Then on January 1, a dictum was issued. A new "warning system" can result in participants getting banned from the board.
Grumbling from the outlands. "Sounds like Germany under Hitler!" noted one regular John.
No one pushes the board's envelope more than "Dirty Sanchez," who regales readers with torrid tales of his own exploits -- like the one about engaging in anal sex with a crack-smoking prostitute in an alley behind a Burger King. The Broward resident, who told the tube he has teenage kids and "lives a double life," complained recently that he had been kicked off the Indiboard.
"Dirty Sanchez is not banned," Neil argued recently. "Just some of the words he uses."
A free spirit who's more comfortable nosing through back alleys than lying up in the Hallandale Beach condos that many escorts favor, Sanchez shrugs off the ban. For the moment, he's got other things on his mind. "I haven't even been driving the last week or two," he says. "Streets are DEAD! Although the skagged-out regulars are always there."
But all the sex chat got Tailpipe to thinking. Even in the most liberated and unregulated behaviors, there are mores. So how do you address -- or talk about -- a woman who provides sexual services for money? Fortunately, somebody slipped the 'Pipe Emily Post's long rumored missing chapter, "The Ho' Question." See a sample below.
Whore (also ho)
Working girl (also bawd or, for the MBA crowd, provider)
Lady libertine (also wanton, charity girl, sperm burper)
Rhythmic labial stimulation of the male member (also going French)
Slurping the Cadbury Creme Egg
Milton Weiss publishes an advertising tabloid called the South Florida Real Estate Guide, which he distributes free in south Palm Beach County. This fall, his white, plastic dispensers, worth about $90 apiece, began disappearing. At times, he found stacks of the Digest of Homes, a competing paper, inside his dispensers. So he carved his initials in the boxes and even bought several GPS tracking devices and hid them inside some boxes. He didn't get a bite.
Then, just after Christmas came a break. He looked into a Digest box and noticed the company name C and C Publications, which is based in Central Florida and owned by Gil Condinho.
Following a hunch, Weiss and his wife drove to Polk County over New Year's Eve weekend and began checking C and C's dispensers. "I found 16 of my boxes," Weiss says. "They took our boxes and put them in Polk County, and took their boxes and put them down here, and they figured we were too stupid to figure that out." He reported this to police, who are investigating.
Still no explanation from either Condinho or Digest owner William Keeler, former executives at the scandal-plagued Syndicated Food Service International New York. Both were fired from that company in 2002 because of alleged audit irregularities. The Securities and Exchange Commission accused them this year of being involved in a scheme to defraud investors.
For months now, James S. Henry has been portrayed in the media the world over as a martyr for the First Amendment. Back on Halloween day, Palm Beach County sheriff's deputy Al Cinque arrested Henry outside the Supervisor of Elections office for refusing to stop taking pictures of lined-up voters. In a story the following day, the Palm Beach Post reported the deputy tackled Henry, punched him, and threw him around like a discarded ballot. The Post's article was picked up by the international media, and the fourth estate rushed to Henry's side.
But four witnesses of the arrest -- few were actually quoted in the Post article -- now question the newspaper's version of events. The witnesses, whose names were included on recently released court files, say Henry wasn't tackled but actually fell on his own as he was fleeing Cinque. They also say he wasn't punched.