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The Six Worst Places in Broward

Broward County is a wonderful place. Let's just start out by saying that.

Beautiful beaches, amazing cuisine -- there's a reason tourism is a big business here. People want to come to Broward. Yay, Broward! You go, Broward!

OK, have we built Broward up enough yet? Yes? Good. Let's knock it down.

See also: 11 Ways to Be a Cheapskate in Fort Lauderdale

Now, Broward, as we just said, we love you. We really do. After all, so many of us live inside of you. And that is by choice, my friend. But, like anybody, there are parts of you we wish didn't exist. Dirty, smelly parts that make us cringe when we catch a glimpse of them in the mirror.

We're not pointing these out just to degrade you or make you feel bad about yourself. No, we want to help you change. We want to give you a tiny shove in the right direction and watch you sail off into a beautiful sunset.

But before any of that can happen, there are some things we need to discuss.

6. The Coral Ridge Mall If you made the Galleria watch Schindler's List a dozen times, then told it that its cat got hit by a car, you'd have the Coral Ridge Mall. Plainly: It's sad.

When the most exciting thing inside you is a T.J. Maxx, you are a very depressing shopping center (or a very drunk girl who met a guy named T.J. Max at a bar).

The Coral Ridge Mall directory looks like a list of names Sawgrass Mills specifically told the doorman not to let into its birthday party.

Perhaps the oddest addition to the Coral Ridge Mall is the new Le Macaron (or as Auntie Anne's calls them, "That place with them fancy Oreos"). You can't make a mall better by sticking a fancy macaron shop in it. The glamour of those delicate little pastries quickly melts away when you turn a corner to see an obese gentleman shoplifting rubber sandals from Old Navy.

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Ryan Pfeffer is Miami New Times’ music editor. After earning a BS in editing, writing, and media from Florida State University, Ryan joined the New Times staff in November 2013 as a web editor, where he coined the phrase "pee-tweet" (to retweet someone while urinating). Born and raised in Fort Lauderdale, he’s now neck-deep in bass and booty in the 305.
Contact: Ryan Pfeffer

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