Inside Florida Puppeteer Robert Brown's Alleged Plans to Eat Children

Our Miami compatriots told you yesterday about Robert Brown, the Tampa children's entertainer arrested this week on charges he was planning on kidnapping a child to rape, murder, and eat him -- quite literally the stuff of nightmares.

He claims it was all just fantasy -- which, though it's unseemly, would not necessarily be against the law. But he was allegedly talking about a child he goes to church with, so the police scooped him up.

Now, we, the iron stomachs of the Pulp, have waded into the disgusting muck that is Brown's criminal complaint to bring you his fantasies as no other news outlet will -- that is, with all the gross stuff intact, because you are a grownup and can decide for yourself what horrifying public documents you expose yourself to.

A brief warning: If you were irked by that post we did of the sexts former weatherman Rob Lopicola allegedly sent to underaged boys, don't go anywhere near the rest of this story.

Police found Brown through the arrest of a Kansas man named Michael Arnett back in May -- investigators say they found that Arnett had child pornography and had gone into online chats where he had "extremely graphic discussions regarding kidnapping, sexually abusing, murdering and eating of children." He had two pictures on his computer of "decapitated children that have been bound and cooked."

One of the people Arnett allegedly chatted with (sometimes under the name "calf_keeper2") was Brown, who used the name "uelime." In one exchange allegedly between Arnett and Brown, Arnett was asking about a boy identified in documents only as (C). Here are several excerpts from a conversation in April 2011:

uelime: Sadly, he is doing well. I wish I had him tied and gagged in the closet.

calf_keeper2: he would make a fine Easter feast

uelime: yes, his thighs and butt cheeks would be fantastic for easter.

calf_keeper2: I agree. You could be spending today parting him out, getting a pan ready for the butt and thighs

uelime: I would have the time to do it today, if I only had him.

The two then get into discussing how "uelime" would go about telling the boy that he was about to be "cut up and eaten."

"I can assure him that he won't feel a thing because he will be dead by then," Brown allegedly wrote. "I could ask him how he wants each cut of his body to be done and then label it for him with a black marker... yeh, maybe a dotted line around the base of his cock with an arrow and label 'cut here.'"

And another conversation from August 2011. In this one, Arnett allegedly goes by the name "sweettalkerlinda."

sweettalkerlinda: evening sunshine

uelime: Hello

uelime: how are you?

sweettalkerlinda: I'm good. you?

uelime: Doing well.

sweettalkerlinda: any luck with your boy?

uelime: No, I still want to eat him though. He was looking good in his last pic that I got.

  Then, the two men allegedly discuss how Brown is going to abduct the boy:

uelime: Hmmm, I think he might be small enough to take down easily. You should come down and help. He could enjoy him too.

sweettalkerlinda: Love to of course. But I think a first on should be enjoyed alone. Especially with all you've done watching him


sweettalkerlinda: so you'll strangle or suffocate im?

uelime: He would be a toss up between the two. I think either would hot. Strangle would be hot, though harder, suffocate would go easier, I think.

sweettalkerlinda: I drowned my last one. though she was quite small. Feisty though, gave a good fight.

sweettalkerlinda: little redhead and she proved it ;)

uelime: I have thought about drowning too. Just slide him into the tub and hold his face under.

sweettalkerlinda: I started mine face up then flipper her over.

uelime: Thats an idea. i could do that too.

sweettalkerlinda: she looked like a little pink frog kicking her legs under the water. ;)

Arnett then allegedly described the victim as making "a sweet little oven roast... full of some awesome tender toddler meat." He said he had purchased the girl from her mother and "was better off being eaten anyhow rather than growing up any longer as another trailer park brat." Brown reportedly followed up by saying, "Summer is heating up. Should be good pickins'... Its so hot the kids are almost naked out there."

They then discussed how to best cook children's genitals, with Brown, according to court documents, saying there was something "erotic about eating those private parts ... they would never even let you see it, much less eat it!"

It then appears Arnett sent Brown pictures that, going by their descriptions, depict a 3-year-old girl being strangled.

Investigators subpoenaed internet usage information from Yahoo, which they then used to track down Brown from his listings in the Pinellas County Schools database of speakers -- he was listed, they said, as "a puppetry speaker for grades K-8," which is also the cover he used when he was pulled over in 1998 and a cop asked why there was a pair of boy's underwear on his front seat: He said it was a puppet costume.

Brown also allegedly maintained a profile on on which he said his interests were, "I love them young and dead. I enjoy them fresh, but like to see them displayed in their casket too." On July 19, police raided his home, where they found numerous "images of child pornography, images of children engaged in bondage and images of children that appear to be deceased."

Brown allegedly told police that "he chats with several individuals about strangling children and that he was part of a strangle group in Yahoo" but that "these are his fantasies... he would never really do this." He also told police the boy mentioned in the chats is someone he "personally knows from his church."

He said, however, that "his interest is not child pornography it is morgue pictures." That bit is mentioned right before the part about how he buys children pizza every Wednesday and gives them a ride to church. He faces conspiracy to kidnap and child pornography charges.

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