Viral Assassins

Once, in the ’80s, we starred in a DIY inspirational video where making waffles was a metaphor for career success. We thought the death of the VHS format meant the evidence would eventually disintegrate in some faraway Salvation Army thrift store. Yet there’s a group of seven friends who search for cringe-worthy VHS footage and upload the madness to their blog, Everything Is Terrible, so it can be watched infinitely (or at least until the Internet explodes). The posse, which takes on extraterrestrial personas, has exposed a woman who makes videos about a cat massage and a recording of Colby the Christian robot, where obnoxious children in high-waisted pants interact with a doomsday machine.

EIT has created a feature-length film from its blog’s most viral videos in 2Everything2 Terrible2: Tokyo Drift, and it will screen at 8 p.m. Saturday at the Bill Cosford Cinema (1111 Memorial Drive, Coral Gables). EIT’s Katie, AKA Future Schlock, likens the film to Girl Talk’s witty song mash-ups, except with cat-massaging ladies and Christian robots in place of music samples. No sign yet of our waffle flick. Tickets cost $6 for University of Miami alumni, faculty, and staff and are free for students. The rest of you nonacademic suckers pay $8. Call 305-284-4861, or visit
Sat., Aug. 7, 8 p.m., 2010

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Amanda McCorquodale