December 6, 2012 | 8:21am
Art Basel just seemed to work out magically this Wednesday night. Parking was shockingly easy to find (thank you, dude-looking ladies who left early. You rule!). Then I ran into a friend at the Bass Museum who was on the list for the A$AP Rocky party at the Delano, but he wasn't going. I'd planned on crashing that or the MOCA LA, Lykke Li concert. I ended up taking the easy route, and just stole his identity for the evening.
- Top 15 Art Basel Miami Beach Music Events
Sure Rocky's hosting an art event tonight at the Garret, but why not see him rap about bitches under the clear night sky with the company of drunken, hat-wearing bougie out-of-towners?
Shout out to the Delano party. It turned out to be one of those places that just felt good. I randomly ended up sitting next to a New Yorker I'd met like 15 years ago through close friends. Drank some (but not too much) free tequila. Basel at its best.
The only real problem is their stage is set up oddly. My friend noted that the artists end up playing for the pool, like two feet from the deep end. Last year, Salem made a lot of loud sounds in the same spot, and with wet strippers. Thankfully, for 2012, they brought out the goods. And hip-hop! When's the last time you saw someone rap on South Beach for a Basel-related event. Probably never, unless you randomly ended up in P. Diddy's shower.
So, right now, you're like: What about the show? You're boring! Get some sleep! Stop writing. I hear ya. So, Rocky came out on stage with two hype men and went for it. His set was brief. Maybe he performed four songs. But oh, the art folk loved him! They took hundreds of photographs. Snapping away with abandon.
And then, for the finale, during "Fuckin' Problems" the whole slew of lame dancers let it all hang out. They stormed the stage, at first looking excited and guilty, then confused at being allowed to stay. It was like watching a fat cat eat a second breakfast.
He certainly didn't wear himself out up there, but hey, no one was complaining. His Andy Warhol-esque top said: "I like art." And he simply hid out in a cabana when the whole affair ended.
Here's our video documenting the ultimate in art tourists attacking a rising hip-hop star on a South Beach stage. Basel incarnate.