Ever been to a strip club and thought to yourself, "Boy! This place is great! I sure like looking at all the boobies! If only it were open until the sun came up so I can look at boobies till breakfast!"?
Well, Hallandale Beach resident who loves boobies, you're in luck.
Because, thanks to City Hall, Cheetah's Gentleman's Club can now stay open until 6 a.m.
City Hall's reason? Other strip clubs in South Florida stay open until the sun comes up, allowing their patrons to gawk at topless dancing girls till the crack of dawn.
So why not Hallandale?
"Plenty of places in downtown Hollywood stay open till 6 a.m.," commissioner Alex Lewy said. "The type of business it is should be irrelevant."
The commish is right. A place that serves booze, a place that has women shaking their asses for dollar bills... what's the damned difference??
Tootsie's Cabaret in Miami Gardens stays open till 6 a.m. every day, while Scarlett's Cabaret in Pembroke Park stays open until 8 a.m. on weekends.
WE'VE DONE SOME EXTENSIVE IN-DEPTH INVESTIGATING TO BRING YOU THIS INFORMATION.
Cheetah's owner Joe Rodriguez says he wants to be able to have his establishment open until 6 a.m. to stay competitive with those other clubs.
"When you close at 2 a.m., you limit yourself," Rodriguez said. "It's a little hard to compete."
Cheetah's is now trying to get back into the competitive world of boobs-in-people's-faces-and-a-buffet-lunch after being forced to close for more than two years. Hallandale had ordered the place shut down to investigate allegations of prostitution and drug dealing. Cheetah's reopened in 2011.
And while some residents -- and Mayor Joy Cooper, who voted against the measure -- may not approve of strip clubs being open all night, it's hard not to see that it's good for business.
Or as Cheetah's dancer Amelia astutely puts it: "Some people come here really late."
Right on, Amelia.
And besides, Cheetah's being open all night might just benefit the community. Joe Rodriguez is something of a philanthropist, donating money to schools through his charity (even if some don't appreciate it).
So, at the end of the day (or night), we all win.
Oh boobies. Is there nothing you can't do??
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