$21.95 -- Xfinity TV
$54.95 -- Xfinity Performance Plus Internet
$6.12 -- Digital starter (We have no idea what this does.)
$1.74 -- State communications tax
$17.98 -- Broward County corruption tax
$64.23 -- Tax for electing Rick Scott
$11.13-- FPL rate hike
$39.84 -- Subsidy for first season of "Outsourced"
$79.81 -- Alec Baldwin's 401(k) plan
$99.99 -- We have exclusive rights to air the Olympics until 2024
$7.04 -- Lease for RCA modem made in 1993
$29.45 -- Service fee for fixing broken modem
$19.99 -- You weren't home for the service appointment
$81.79 -- We didn't show up, either!
$31.54 -- Your wireless router doesn't work with our modem
$12.22 -- Ant removal fee
$38.88 -- Endless WSFL-TV reruns of "Everybody Loves Raymond"
$41.30 -- Somehow this goes to the GEO Group
$15.13 -- You cheered for the Dallas Mavericks last night
$62.23 -- HOA fee for your foreclosed neighbor, whose cable you are stealing
*inspired by the New Yorker
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