Understanding Your Comcast/Xfinity/NBC Bill

Monthly Statement*

$21.95 -- Xfinity TV

$54.95 -- Xfinity Performance Plus Internet

$6.12 -- Digital starter (We have no idea what this does.)

$1.74 -- State communications tax

$17.98 -- Broward County corruption tax

$64.23 -- Tax for electing Rick Scott

$11.13--  FPL rate hike

$39.84 -- Subsidy for first season of "Outsourced"

$79.81 -- Alec Baldwin's 401(k) plan

$99.99 -- We have exclusive rights to air the Olympics until 2024

$7.04 -- Lease for RCA modem made in 1993

$29.45 -- Service fee for fixing broken modem

$19.99 -- You weren't home for the service appointment

$81.79 -- We didn't show up, either!

$31.54 -- Your wireless router doesn't work with our modem

$12.22 -- Ant removal fee

$38.88 -- Endless WSFL-TV reruns of "Everybody Loves Raymond"

$41.30 -- Somehow this goes to the GEO Group

$15.13 -- You cheered for the Dallas Mavericks last night

$62.23 -- HOA fee for your foreclosed neighbor, whose cable you are stealing

*inspired by the New Yorker

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