Who's ready to arty party?
Oh yes, you beautiful and brainy bastards, we're about to begin another edition of Art Basel Miami Beach week. But as we all know, four whole days spent wandering through exhibition after exhibition of world-class cultural artifacts just ain't enough. We also need four whole nights of getting drunk, hitting the mosh pit, and hump-dancing with strangers in some darkened corner of a pop-up party spot in Wynwood.
So here are the ten best (not private) parties during Basel 2013.
See also: Art Basel Miami Beach 2013 Party Guide
De La Soul. With DJs Ynot, Self Born, and Heron, plus an opening performance by the Problem Kids. Thursday, December 5, 10 p.m., The Stage, 170 NE 38th St., Miami; 305-576-9577; thestagemiami.com. Tickets cost $30 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Whether De La's Maseo, Pos, and Dave are sweating through a studio sesh or kicking off Basel week at the Design District's best party spot, it's basically all 'bout "just buggin' out." Which is to say, keeping it simple, having fun, and not acting like some pretentious, high-concept, jetset douche who's more worried about his "De La Clothes" than his "De La Soul."
Darkside. Featuring Nicolas Jaar and Dave Harrington. As part of Flaunt Magazine, 3P Production, and Mana Wynwood's three-night concert series. Thursday, December 5, 10 p.m., Mana Wynwood Production Village, 318 NW 23rd St., Miami; 305-305-5574; manawynwood.com. Tickets cost $32 plus fees via showclix.com. Ages 18 and up. Visit artbaselmanawynwood.com. What is the Darkside? Umm, do you mean the nightmarish existential netherworld where ravenous demons await, slobbering over the imminent feast of your spiritual remains? Or the collaborative electronic music project from critically lauded producer Nicolas Jaar and guitarist Dave Harrington, who'll make your Basel dreams come true by performing the entirety of their new debut album, Psychic, in a Wynwood warehouse?
Look Alive Fest. With Wolf Eyes, Indian Jewelry, Teepee, Cop City/Chill Pillars, Lil Daggers, Nerve City, and others. Presented by Spilt Milk Projects and Ad Hoc. Friday and Saturday, December 6 and 7, 8 p.m., Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE Second Ave., Miami, and Gramps, 176 NW 24th St., Miami. Tickets costs $10 for the first night, but admission is free for the second night before 10 p.m. with RSVP via lookalivefest.com/rsvp_2013. Visit lookalivefest.com. Twelve awesome bands. Two killer clubs. Some free beer. Now, the Look Alive guys don't wanna brag. But as they confidently acknowledge, their little, two-night music fest -- headlined by Detroit noise rock band Wolf Eyes at Churchill's Pub on Saturday and Houston psych crew Indian Jewelry at Gramps on Sunday -- is gonna be "radically different from what's happening on the beach." So yeah, expect stuff like broken bottles, spilled brews, and mosh pits.
Ghostface Killah. With Sheek Louch of the Lox, DJ Immortal, plus DJs Exes, Klassik, Self Born, and Heron. Friday, December 6, 10 p.m., The Stage, 170 NE 38th St., Miami; 305-576-9577; thestagemiami.com. Tickets cost $33 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Hailed by hip-hop scholars as one of the most inventive lyricists in the history of the rap game, Wu-Tang member Ghostface is an erudite rhymer, no doubt. But they don't call him Killah for nothing. As fellow clan member RZA once summed up GFK's savage and skillful technique, there's gonna be "a mayhem so vast," when he picks up the mic, "that the tale of his rampage [will] be passed down for generations." Or at least till next Basel.
Richie Hawtin. With Gaiser and Danyelino. Friday, December 6, 11 p.m., Story, 136 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-538-2424; storymiami.com. Tickets cost $40 to $75 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. A master of the techno arts, an exacting musical mind of the highest order, and a self-described "technology adventurer," Richie Hawtin might be the only EDM superstar who can turn four hours at a South Beach megaclub into a transcendent aesthetic experience. So please, bro, leave your "Molly, Weed & Pussy" muscle shirt at home.
Basel Castle 2013. With SBTRKT (DJ set), Chance the Rapper, Been Trill, Travi$ Scott, and others. Saturday, December 7, 10 p.m., Grand Central Park, 700 N. Miami Ave., Miami. Tickets cost $20 to $50 plus fees via ticketfly.com. All ages. Visit baselcastle.com. For the last few years, Miami-slash-L.A. party collective The Overthrow threw its Basel Castle bash in an actual fucking castle on NW 20th Street in the middle of Wynwood. Eventually, though, the place got so overrun by so many hipsters of so many kinds that it became necessary to find a party palace with no walls, Grand Central Park, which should be good for crowd control, though it might pose other problems. Like, you know, putting Chance the Rapper at risk of being pelted with catapulted Red Bull cans, launched by hordes of Baselites who forgot to buy tickets.
See also: Fashion Freakouts at Basel Castle 2012
Young Adults Showcase. With Joakim, Young Adults, Jerome LOL, Silk Road, Chalk, and Miami Players Club. Saturday, December 7, 10 p.m., Electric Pickle, 2826 N. Miami Ave., Miami; 305-456-5613; electricpicklemiami.com. Tickets cost $20 plus fees via residentadvisor.net. Ages 21 and up. Sometimes, as sophisticated French DJ dude Joakim says, a Basel club thing sorta sucks and you gotta "get drunk enough to dance to really, really, really bad music." Luckily, though, when Miami's Young Adults and the crew bust out the jams at the Pickle, all you'll need are ears that work and an ass that won't quit.
Boy George. With Marc Vedo. Saturday, December 7, 11 p.m., Mansion, 1235 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-695-8411; mansionmiami.com. Tickets cost $20 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Still fabulous after all these years (and yes, that 2009 prison sentence for falsely imprisoning a sex partner), Boy George is finally bringing his iconic Culture Clubber act to Art Basel Miami Beach week with a live Friday-evening show at Mana Wynwood, followed by a Saturday-night DJ set at Mansion. So curl those eyelashes. Grow a gorgeous goatee. And come-a, come-a, come-a, come-a, come-a clubbing with the self-anointed "King of Everything."
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tINI and the Gang. With Bella Saris, Randall M, Chad Andrew, Patrick M, Louis Puig, ALX, Donnie Lowe, and a secret guest. Saturday, December 7, 11 p.m., Space, 34 NE 11th St., Miami; 305-375-0001; clubspace.com. Tickets cost $20 to $30 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Straight outta Ibiza, tINI and the Gang go hard. Though usually found wilding out on the pristine shores of that aforementioned Spanish island paradise, this German DJ and her squad will be seizing control of downtown Miami's Space for a marathon Basel week bash that begins at midnight and ends the next afternoon. It's gonna be the tech-house beatdown of your art-loving lives.
Trick Daddy and Fool's Gold Day Off. With A-Trak, Flosstradamus, Dave 1 of Chromeo, Young Thug, Brenmar, and others. As part of Flaunt Magazine, 3P Production, and Mana Wynwood's three-night concert series. Sunday, December 8, 2 p.m., Mana Wynwood Production Village, 318 NW 23rd St., Miami; 305-305-5574; manawynwood.com. Free with RSVP at foolsgoldrecs.com/dayoff. Ages 18 and up. Visit artbaselmanawynwood.com. What'd be the most Miami way to end Basel 2013? Probably a drunk dance rager with the Mayor of the 305 (AKA Trick Daddy), doing the shit he do alongside DMC World DJ champ and Fool's Gold label boss A-Trak, and a whole mess of party pros. This thang's guaranteed to get rough and sloppy and real wild. As Trick once said: "Bitch, you don't know nann nigga, uh-uh."