Throughout the 21st century, a common complaint for Miami Dolphins fans is that their team would too often settle for a field goal, with its near certain three points, rather than go for a touchdown and its far less certain seven points.
With the Dolphins wallowing in mediocrity for much of the 2000s, this strategy, no matter who was the coach, seemed emblematic of the Dolphins' position. Always content to go the lazy, safe route (drafting quarterback Ryan Tannehill) rather than taking a chance and risking greatness (trading up to get quarterback Robert Griffin III).
Attending last week's preseason Dolphins game against the New Orleans Saints, I was glad to see the DJ at Sun Life Stadium was doing something to encourage touchdowns over field goals. Every time the Dolphins scored a touchdown, they would play the Miami Dolphins' fight song. Every time the Dolphins succeeded on a field goal, they would punish the crowd with the Jimmy Buffett song "Fins."
You know the Miami Dolphins' fight song from your childhood. It's the one that starts, "Miami has the Dolphins/the Greatest football team/ We take the ball from goal to goal/Like no one's ever seen." Written by Lee Ofman during the 1972 perfect season, it is bubblegum pop at its purest. It will never leave your head, nor ever allow a frown, kind of like a perfectly executed touchdown catch.
Jimmy Buffett's "Fins," on the other hand, is blandly forgettable, if it wasn't for the fact that the Dolphins kicked so many field goals, whereby its constant presence becomes annoying. Buffett originally wrote the song in 1979, but when current Dolphins owner Stephen Ross bought the team in 2009, he was a starfucker who made such B-list celebrities as Jennifer Lopez, Gloria Estefan, and Jimmy Buffett partial owners of the team. This unfortunate period included Ross asking Buffett to replace the lyrics of the song "Fins" so he could phase out the Miami Dolphins fight song.
But perhaps due to lowering fan attendance, the PA system returned to blasting the Miami Dolphins fight song during the team's most successful moments. "Fins," meanwhile, has become the ultimate deterrent.
The old football adage of "playing not to lose is playing not to win" is represented by settling for a field goal. This means everybody loses as we have to hear "Fins to the left/Fins to the right" again.
Perhaps this will serve as inspiration for players and coaches to strive for touchdowns. If so, then we can return to the days of saying, "Miami you're talking Super Bowl."
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