Best Strange Stuff 2003 | Natural Selections Exotics | Goods & Services | South Florida
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Best Strange Stuff

Natural Selections Exotics

Natural Selections sells strange plants. There are plants here with blossoms so luxurious they should come with parental advisories. The voodoo lily is pornography, though, plain and simple, with its thick fecund and penile-like stamen emerging from a delicately curled and vulvate flower. Other plants don't so much sex you as scare you. Natural Selections sells lurid monster versions of innocuous backyard plants so common as to have become vegetative wallpaper here in South Florida. Witness the sea grape. This protected plant with saucer-sized leaves and snarled trunk is everywhere -- growing into an impressive tree alongside A1A or taking on a tangled form close to the ground as it climbs over dunes or keeps a red mangrove company close to shore. At Natural Selections, they sell the Colossus of sea grapes, a variety whose leaves grow to about four feet in diameter. And that's not the nursery's behemoth. Nooooo. When the Borneo giant unfurls, its elephant ear plant-like leaf becomes a king-size bed of green, six feet wide and ten feet long. Natural Selections sold its wares for two years online until earlier this year. Now you can wander through the feverish greenery in a compound off South Andrews Avenue. Contemplate the 12-inch whiskers of a white bat plant. Admire the dramatic red spine of a red sealing wax palm. Languish with a vanilla orchid. Lose your dread of the corporal coil. Closed Mondays and Tuesdays.

Best Flea Market

Lake Worth High School Flea Market

How many places give you the chance to shop for bargains and help some kid get a college scholarship? While philanthropy probably isn't what drives the hundreds who flock to the Lake Worth High School Flea Market each weekend, it is the driving force behind the oddly placed open-air shopping court that offers everything from fresh tomatoes to foreign flags to deeply discounted name-brand clothes to irresistible garage-sale fare. One hundred percent of the money collected from vendors goes directly to the high school scholarship fund, organizer Betty Brown says proudly. Since it first opened under the towering Interstate 95 overpass at Lake Worth Road in the mid-1980s, the flea market has raised more than $1 million for scholarships, she says. But in truth, those who visit the market, open from 4 a.m. to 3 p.m. every Saturday and Sunday, could care less. Like flea market junkies everywhere, it's the chance to get a good deal on a pair of Ray-Bans, pick up some fresh produce, take home a $25 dresser, or just stroll around with a cup of coffee and chat that brings them back time and again. The rumble of 18-wheelers and the occasional squeal of brakes overhead gives the market a special appeal. The urban shade from that freeway structure makes a trip to the flea market cool, even when the weather, like the promise of bargains, is hot.

Best Vintage Clothing Store

Lucille's Consignment

We're not about to say that it's impossible to find some chic retro threads at your local thrift store. The problem with the armies of salvation is that looking for that one choice shirt often turns into a hunt for the proverbial needle in a haystack. One must pore over piles upon piles of leisure suits just to find that one shirt that says, "I am just dated enough to be completely hip." For those too lazy for this sort of odyssey -- or for those who would rather have more options in their vintage clothes -- consignment shops are probably the way to go. After all, most folks are greedy enough to say to themselves, "Why give away this stuff when I might be able to get some money out of it?" And if you're planning on going the consignment route, you need to start with Lucille's. The store seems like the haunted mansion of the Ghost of Styles Past. Here, you'll find dresses from 60 years ago, suits from the 1970s, and a whole slew of shirts whose history stretches far back into the 20th Century. They say if you keep something long enough, it'll come back in style. Well, no matter which decade has returned to prominence, you can depend upon finding the representative clothing at Lucille's -- assuming we don't all decide to start wearing breeches and surcoats again.

Best Day Spa

The Spa at the Breakers

Ocean breezes ruffle the yoga mats of a group of women who are kneeling and stretching, and a trainer in the bustling gym with an ocean view guides a spa guest as she does crunches on an ab ball. The immaculate 140-acre oceanfront resort seems fitting for a spa that offers 13 different massage therapies, 12 facial and eye treatments, and 11 body wraps and scrubs. Outside of Paris, this is the only spa to offer Guerlain skin care services developed by the Guerlain Institut de Beauté in Paris. Too many choices? Make it easy with a package such as the Tropical Escape -- herbal citrus bath, citrus body polish, 50-minute Swedish massage with citrus oil in the comfort of your spa suite. Or make up your own Suite Dream package that includes a body treatment, specialty bath, and 50-minute massage. The spa's pristine facilities are available to hotel guests and those who buy at least a 50-minute facial.

Best Tattoo

Stevie Moon Tattoo

Stevie Moon comes by his tattoo talent genetically. He learned the art from his mother, Juli Moon, who runs a tattoo parlor in Seabrook, New Hampshire. Son Moon is a master of the technical needlework of tattooing, but he also understands it as a graphic art. He wants the image to pop. He accomplishes that through structure of the image, by using the traditional black outline. But he also catches the eye with his artistry. Moon creates his own images. He does replications from artwork clients bring to him. A sleepy-eyed bodhisattva he tattooed onto the forearm of one client in pale green is rendered with a rare sophistication.

Best Record/CD Store

Border's Books Music & Café

Ow -- this hurts. A nefarious chain selected as the area's finest representative of a retail establishment where independence is a virtue? Yes, 'tis true. Since mom-and-pop record stores haven't been able to mount stiffer competition in these parts, Border's Books, Music & Café wins because: (1) it sports the most comprehensive and complete new compact disc selection in Broward; (2) the staff would be working at a cool, hip indie store if there were a decent one around; since there isn't and they don't want to wear ties, they punch a clock here; (3) if we can't have housecats lounging around on hand-built bins under blacklight posters while the new Ministry album blares from a tattered speaker, at least you can get a decent cuppa joe while you browse the clean, well-lighted big-box floor; (4) no one else carries the extensive line of music-oriented DVDs that can be found here, like Gotham, a live Bauhaus concert film, or Icky Flix, a collection of artsy videos that puts the Residents in New York's Museum of Modern Art. A record shop's only as good as the back-room purchaser who orders product, and the buyer at Border's is obviously no shrinking violet, making sure the store is stocked with edgy stuff like Richard Kern's sexploitation series Hardcore Collection. Put that in your latte and drink it.

Best Mall in Broward

12801 W. Sunrise Blvd.

Sunrise 33323

How can you say "Broward" and "mall" without saying "Sawgrass Mills"? Sure, it's a tourist trap. It's the second-largest tourist attraction in the state, and more than 25 million shoppers will trudge through Sawgrass' stores this year alone. The parking lot holds 11,000 cars, for chrissakes. Sure, you'll get lost. The mall is more than a mile long, covers 170 acres, and is shaped like an alligator -- a design feature you're not likely to notice but apt to curse when you're looking for Saks Off Fifth and find yourself in front of Burlington Coat Factory for the 12th time. (Save yourself the confusion by printing a map of the mall off its website, www.sawgrassmillsmall.com) Still, this West Broward behemoth is a feast for the frugal fashionista. Prices here hover around 80 percent below retail. Discount versions of stores like Neiman Marcus peacefully coexist with Brooks Brothers, Theory, Kenneth Cole, St. John Knits, Calvin Klein, BeBe, Tahari, and more than 400 others. And where else in South Florida can you suck on an Orange Julius while trying on a pair of Blahniks?

Best Liquor Store

Crown Wine and Spirits

You have minutes to get to that dinner party, and the old lady has sent you out for a bottle of vino. The only catch is that your knowledge of wine stops at Boone's Farm. This is where the guys at Crown come in oh-so handy. The South Florida liquor store chain prides itself on a staff that can not only steer you to a good wine under ten bucks (try the Chilean Santa Rita 120 at $5.99) but can also tell you about the variety of grapes used for the $900 bottle of Le Montrachet behind the counter. In addition to the tastings and wine classes, Crown hangs ratings next to worthy bottles as a cheat sheet for the wine-ignorant. Most Crown stores also have a well-stocked humidor and a cheese counter with moderate prices on everything from Maytag blue cheese for $12.99 a pound to a Roquefort that'll set you back $24.99 a pound. In between the rows of bottles, Crown even has a bookshelf crowded with buyer's guides and manuals on how to match wines to foods. With minutes to spare for that party, you'll walk out of Crown knowing syrah grapes produce a full-bodied red with a peppery spice. Now if you could only remember which fork to use for the appetizers.

Best Thrift Store

Think Thrift

Situated in a strip mall that is a veritable poor man's wonderland (the mall also includes a Salvation Army store, a large pawn shop, and a dollar store), Think Thrift may be the best thing going in deliciously cheap duds. Designer labels await even the casual shopper, and a discriminating eye can often pick out items that would go for $40 or $50 in a vintage clothing store, such as those old Western shirts that are all the rage among some hipsters. Dig through each rack carefully and you'll find leather and suede jackets, even fur coats. And yet, rare is the Think Thrift shirt that sets a shopper back more than a couple of bucks. A great antidote for the surprising prices at some Salvation Army stores (thanks, Huizengas).

Daniel Rose

is owner of Daniel Rose Shoes, purveyor of Fort Lauderdale's showiest platforms and spikes

Q: Do you watch reality-TV shows?

A: I do watch a little bit. I've seen Survivor and The Bachelor.

Q: What do you think?

A: They're not bad shows. But these people are living in fantasyland. Every time the bachelor picks a female, haven't they broken up later on? Every one of them breaks up, including that other one, Joe Millionaire. No one has gotten together.

Q: Why watch?

A: Television is my entertainment.

Q: Like an escape?

A: Just entertainment. I don't escape. I'm a realist. Do you know what a realist is? A realist doesn't deal with any fantasy.

Q: Well, they call it reality television. Anything real about it at all?

A: It's a stretch. It's just 15 minutes of fame. Or people looking for financial rewards.

Q: Any lessons to be learned there?

A: There are absolutely no lessons that can be learned there.

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