Shopping & Services

Now that we're letting the word out, we're going to have a helluva time getting an appointment, but we will make that sacrifice, because the world must know how amazing this woman is! Going through pregnancy, childbirth, or any other crises of the downtown area can be some of the most nerve-wracking, nail-biting episodes of a woman's life. Fahey helps the ladies of all ages, sizes, and income levels (yep, she takes Medicaid) through them like a magical angel sent from gyno heaven. Not only does this cool white woman from the Caribbean know her way around a vaginal canal but she is alternately superwarm and wickedly funny. Even when she's slammed with a waiting room full of hormonal freaks and she's getting paged to go yank a baby out of a uterus, she'll take a few precious minutes to pull up a chair, look you in the eye, and ask, "How are you? No, really — how's your heart?" She has the answers you need and the care you have longed for, whether you're popping out a tiny human being (you can do it; you've got this!) or going in for test results (oh, everybody has herpes nowadays!). Would it be weird to ask your doctor on a friend date?

Information regarding health and nutrition is more plentiful and easily available than ever before, yet somehow, many of us are not quite exemplars of well-being, especially amid the 9-to-5 grind. Fortunately, there are folks out there devoted to spreading the... health! Red Carrot Wellness provides health and nutritional coaching to individuals, groups, and corporations. These folks will help you shop for groceries, cook, and dine out more wisely. They'll come to your place of business to lead weekly yoga classes (just $175 for up to 40 people — tell the boss!), monthly nutrition workshops, detoxification cleanses, and more. Who among us could not benefit from tapping into the power of Pilates or learning more about the perils of sugar consumption?

Whether for a big wedding or a random Wednesday, the good people of Flowers and Found Objects will help you celebrate life with their brilliant vision and creations. Arrangements for all occasions can be found within the fragrant Las Olas boutique. Browse the portfolio and discover tasteful displays like the "Vanda Orchid Assortment" ($70 to $125), "Tropical Garden Centerpiece" ($125 to $150), and "Casablanca Lilies in Cylinder Vase" ($125 to $250) — all of which look as poetic as their titles. You can work with them to customize an order, or Flowers and Found Objects will take care of it completely. Or if you'd just like to pick out a single rose or sunflower, that's fine too. As if flowers weren't enough, the shop also offers lovely gourmet gift packages ($75 and up) and interesting decorative pieces — "found objects" such as clocks, vases, and statuettes that their stylish buyers have gathered from across the U.S.

Stores that hawk books are hard to find in South Florida, even if we count corporate Starbucks dispensaries tricked out with two stories of teen fiction, celebrity magazines, and more literary lions on the walls in pretentious murals than in the stockroom. Second Edition Book Shop is one of the few remaining members on the endangered-species list — and the best. Tucked into a shopping center off Stirling Road in Davie, Second Edition is tight and cozy on the inside. Stocked floor to ceiling, all the books choke the store with the sweet aroma of well-thumbed pages. Books cost half the sticker price or less. Up front, you'll find inviting leather chairs for test-driving the books. Although there's a literature section way in the far back, Second Edition's sweet spot is genre potboilers — mysteries and sci-fi adventures and sweaty romances, anything you might need to speed through a day at the beach.

Nothing tugs at the heartstrings like doe-eyed pups and fuzzy kittens — particularly those with no home to call their own. They gaze up at you with their innocent expressions, tilting their scruffy heads and raising one lone paw. All they want is love. But don't be fooled by Sarah McLachlan and her corporate shill. The folks at Warm Hearts Pet Rescue are doing the real work — pulling pets from the pound, enduring heartache and tough decisions, bathing, feeding, transporting — to save as many lives as possible. Warm Hearts is donation-based and volunteer-run, and its no-kill facility comes complete with two backyards for running, playpens for socializing, mega-sinks for washing, and all kinds of other pup perks to keep residents happy, entertained, and exercised until they find their forever homes. Need a new love in your life? If so, now you know where to go. And it ain't cheap to run a rescue this size, so maybe think of all those adorable animals next time you have some spare coin to contribute.

Counterintuitive or just plain amazing? These were our first thoughts upon encountering Happy Pappy's, a drive-through liquor store in Hollywood. Located on Griffin Road across the street from a pawn shop and next door to Happy Pappy's Sub Shop, this standalone mom-and-pop establishment looks like a little hut of joy, complete with a terra-cotta-colored awning and rainbow bubble letters spelling out the Happy Pappy's name. While the selection and prices are pretty middle-of-the-road, the mom-and-pop quality gives the establishment a dose of charm. As soulless, warehouse-sized Disney Worlds of liquor stores like Total Wine continue to dominate suburban markets, we're content with rolling up and getting serviced with our usual brown-bagged adult beverage of choice, especially since we don't even have to get out of the car. Happy Pappy's, which has been around since the '80s, is a clear favorite among locals, while its proximity to Fort Lauderdale airport makes it all too convenient for tourists looking to stock up on weekend supplies.

"Look honey, we should talk. I know you've noticed that things have been a little — God, how can I say this? — slow in the bedroom lately. No, no, don't get mad. No tears, here. I wouldn't bring it up if I didn't care, right? But honesty is important. Remember what it was like back in the day? The honeymoon? That weekend in Marathon Key? The marathon in Marathon, right? Well, hon', I think we've lost that magic. We need some help relighting the fire. After you get the stroganoff out of the oven, why don't we swing by Megasex in Fort Lauderdale? The store has close to 20,000 adult films for rent and sale. Each week, they get 50 new titles, so there's a wide variety. I know you don't like renting the same movie twice. Also, they have dildos, cock rings, lube. If something catches your eye, we'll buy it. Cost doesn't matter when it comes to my gal. How's that sound? Perfect. I'll run to the garage to get the sex swing set up; you put the ball gags in the dishwasher. Then we'll hop in the Sienna. I know. I love you too."

In the world of mechanics, it can be hard to know whom to trust. That's why we're really glad we found USA Auto Care, a family-owned and -operated, full-service, no-fuss auto repair shop with three convenient locations: a main facility in Sunrise, minutes from the Sawgrass Expressway, a second location in Lauderhill, and a third in Wilton Manors. Although some mechanics offer mediocre work at paycheck-murdering prices, all with the gruff attitude of mountain trolls, USA Auto is reliable, friendly, fast, and affordable. The folks there understand and appreciate the value of a small business and treat their clients accordingly, servicing a number of local fleets and giving each vehicle their careful, professional touch. Unlike many obscure, independent auto repair shops, USA Auto has large, clean facilities and an informative website with monthly coupons for common services, like an oil, lube, and filter for $14.95. It even has a 30-second promotional video and a section where customers can leave feedback. How novel! USA Auto is the type of place where the girl at the front desk, usually the owner's daughter, always knows your name and doesn't hesitate to pop out back to confirm a price or double-check on your question with the boss. It's more efficient than a dealership and more friendly than the other cheap guys, and we like that. A lot.

We never stop hearing about the benefits of yoga, like its easing of depression, anxiety, high blood pressure, and migraines. While the benefits are many, the typical $18-per-class price tag isn't so Zen. By offering pay-what-you-can community classes, Red Pearl Yoga is bringing yoga to the people. All of the people — not just the rich, stay-at-home trophy moms. Community classes are currently on Mondays and Wednesdays, but Red Pearl hosts a variety of classes at all skill levels every day of the week. Your first class is only five bucks, with options for packages. Find even more peace of mind on the mat in more intimate workshops, or even opt for a massage. For local residents, Red Pearl Yoga is truly a gem of positivity and transformation in a world dominated by consumerism.

This is the place for the ghetto-fab gay who's just gotta have that Gucci tank or the Boca babe who dares to be different by getting her St. John's skirt slightly used. The hipster who needs to look even hipper in a proper green Lolita Lempicka zippered crop top, or the glamour girl with a hankering for sequins. These people all have a secret. They know where to get that item that's going to make them not just look but actually be cooler! That secret is Kismet Recycled Vintage & Designer Clothing store. Located in Delray Beach's Pineapple Grove, the store is both affordable and extremely stylish. And we mean, like, The Sartorialist good. There's an abundance of quality Armani, Diors, Prada; these guys know how to dress. Owned and run by the attractive and decidedly fantastic couple Aly Gore and Liam Milano, Kismet isn't just rad duds. It has also hosted experimental-in-the-best-way-possible Lake Worth musical acts like Universal Expansion and Cop City Chill Pillars. The best news? Now that Kismet is your secret, you're free to keep or share. But remember, greed don't look sexy on nobody.

You're always on your bike. You get groceries on your bike. You go to Laser Wolf on your bike. You play polo on your bike. For God's sake, your baby rides a bike. Biking is your life! And now that bicycles have taken over the roadways, your needs have changed. A pine-scented air freshener is pointless. You need bike lights, a big basket, a U-lock, a decent helmet, and a place to stash your Nalgene. Bicycle Evolution allows you to morph, as a mobile beast, from a car-driving dud into a fully functional cyclist. Owner Matthew Swinehart is a helpful dude, trustworthy with your precious vehicle, and he runs a perfectly homey mom-and-pop shop. You need your fixie fixed? He's your man. Besides getting some of the best names in bikes, like Biria, Dahon, and Fuji, you can also relive your youth on a new skateboard or longboard. But Bicycle Evolution is about more than just rolling around on two wheels. It's about community, and you'll always have a squatting spot with like-minded people at this local bike store.

Have you ever taken a chance at a random salon and ended up with a totally busted 'do? It's a First World problem, yes, but a botched hair job is a traumatic experience. Yeah, you can wear hats or headbands, but it's rather difficult to hide your entire head from public view. Prevent any such dilemma by heading over to the Factory Salon. The urban spot is filled with stylish stylists who can advise you on the best ways to update your mane. No need to worry about walking out with yet another girl-mullet. Unless, of course, that's what you want.

Until the fall of 2013, the best things about Pembroke Lakes Mall have been Chick-fil-A (politics be damned!) and, well, Chick-fil-A. And Macy's. But just last month, the big shots at H&M announced a store opening at this suburban oasis. It will be their first in Broward County and third in South Florida. You can point your mom in the direction of the Crocs store, drop your little cousin off at Hot Topic, and spend the remainder of the morning, then afternoon, then evening, at H&M. This store will have just about everything you can imagine: maternity dresses, giant purses, teeny baby clothes, fancy pants... Sure, Pembroke Lakes Mall has a Forever 21 already, and that's satisfied your need for cheap, cute duds so far, but everyone knows H&M is the master of this category of clothing. And who doesn't want it all? You know what "it all" is for BroCo fashionistas? Forever 21 and H&M in one mall. The best mall.

You love Dwyane Wade, but you like LeBron James. Sitting in front of Berlinda — the mistress of amazing acrylic tips — you decide you want them both. She then gives your hands the true Miami Heat treatment. Like that crazy lady at the Bulls playoff game, you'll flip off the other team with a tiny picture of King James on your middle finger. They'll get the hint. Berlinda is a nail artist of the most creative sort. She'll Hello Kitty your nails; she'll Michael Kors them. She can place actual spikes on them (though not on those with newborns), words, lions, diamonds... Marilyn Monroe's face, for crying out loud! She's not only a creative mind but an entrepreneur. Berlinda's been doing nails for more than 20 years, and she even offers nail art workshops. Her instructional DVDs include How to Do 3-D Characters, How to Do Candy Nails, and Smurfy Tutorial. But who needs them when you can just head over to Divanized Hair and Nails? Besides, after you've had Berlinda, there's no way in hell you can go back to your regular manicurist. She's the princess of paws. There's no competition.

What better way to inform your friends that they look like crap than to plan a girls' day at the spa? We kid, obviously. But when your ladies hear all about Nu Beauty Bar, they'll admit their eyebrows are looking a little shaggy and agree to an afternoon at this whole-body spa. Nu Beauty Bar is actually also a real bar, carrying wine and beer. So as your feet are being pumiced and your hair is being blown out, you can slurp down as many mimosas and Sam Adamses as you want. Sure, spas are relaxing anyway, but having a drink ain't gonna stop anyone from feeling extra chilled on the chair while her eyelash extensions are being attached. Located in Boca Raton, the space has an ultraclean appeal that'll keep the neurotics calm. And like we mentioned, you can bring your friends for a little fiesta. Sure Chippendale's is a fun Friday night out with your homegirls, but why not add a massage and wax to your preparty plans? You'll get props for your renowned multitasking skills.

Daryl Smith, the guy who can deliver the best massage in Broward, has been cracking backs since his early years. "I used to walk on my dad's back when I was a kid," Smith says. "I was always interested in why sometimes his back cracked and sometimes it didn't." After he worked in a factory at Eastman Kodak, Smith says, his wife persuaded him to try his hands at professional massage therapy. He graduated in 2000 from the American Institute of Massage Therapy and has been pounding flesh professionally ever since. He currently works out of the office of Dr. Rick Bruns in Fort Lauderdale, where's he's built up a street rep for the right touch. "I have a way of knowing where people need attention," he says about his technique. "I just let my fingers do the walking."

You haven't truly seen Florida unless you've seen it from underwater. From the crystalline Atlantic to the warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico, Florida is teeming with sea life below the surface. The dive experts at Scuba Club are the ones you'll want leading you along the lush reefs of the Gulf Stream. Specially trained Divemasters will escort you to shipwrecks 50 to 80 feet below the surface. They know where the turtles, rays, angelfish, barracuda, and even sharks hang out. Scuba Club provides programs and instruction for beginners as well as advanced divers, and it also offers modestly priced accommodations for out-of-towners. A single-tank dive starts at $35, while a snorkel, fin, and mask will run you only 12 bucks. The dive shop offers everything the frogman requires, from tanks to dive watches to international vacations. That's an all-in-one shop.

Finding a gym is a lot like hunting for a house. There are some qualities it must have, some amenities it'd be nice to have, and some details that thrust you into a real-estate-induced ecstasy when you see them. The Wellness Center on the eighth (top) floor of the physician office at the Broward Health Medical Center delivers on all points. Affordable prices and clean equipment? Gotta have those. Clean showers, lockers, hair dryers, and free towel service? Hellz yeah — sign us up! But 30-minute lunchtime power workouts, an almost 180-degree bird's-eye view of the entire county through giant plate-glass windows, and a pretty great chance that cutie hustling on the treadmill next to you is Dr. Cutie? (Not to mention, if you suffer a heart attack, you're in the right place.) Why, the only thing that could make this better is if you could grab sushi from a cafeteria or a skim latte from Starbucks on your way out the door postworkout! What's that? You can? Lacing! Sneakers! Now! (Psst — check the website for a free three-day pass.)

If it's only about selection, it's not even a contest. Peace Pipe in Fort Lauderdale wins hands down. It's got any and all kinds of smoking devices, from the giant "water pipes" and elaborate and expensive glass down to the smallest, easily breakable, boringly colorless chillum. But it's not only about stock. It's vibe. It's people. It's the owner, Jerry. It's the free lighters. For those of us who grew up around the shop in the '90s or early aughts, Peace Pipe was a coming-of-age rite. You'd get off school and walk in to the shop, which was half the size it is now; if you were under 18, they wouldn't sell to you, but you could ogle. You'd always see a friend there. Unfortunately, such good times went up in smoke — in the bad way — when Florida put restrictions on smoking devices in 2010, and this year, legislators passed another antibong law, though it has no teeth. All this in spite of a People United for Medical Marijuana study that shows 70 percent of Floridians support medicinal marijuana. Support your local head shop. Support Peace Pipe. But don't get too high to fight the man.

Ever since Walmart came onto the scene with the Walmart Supercenter — or maybe just since the modern grocery store, whatever — Americans have been looking to pick up multiple objects all in one stop. Convenience, right? Well, for those of you looking to pick up a dildo and a nanny-cam in one fell swoop, there's Secret Moments in Fort Lauderdale. The shop sells a wide array of security products, spy cams, diversion safes, and tons of sex products. According to its website, "We are the World's 1st Retail Store using Webcam Mobile Stations so you can see & talk to a live, friendly representative, who can demo everything that we carry!" Now that's what we call customer service. Take that, Walmart!

The relationship between you and your dry cleaner should be filled with a certain amount of trust. This is one service in which the purveyor knows the ins and outs of your basic hygiene. Sweat like an animal? No worries. Spilled wine all over your much-beloved Prada blouse? They'll right your drunken ways. Mysterious white spot on your trousers? Not going to judge. The friendly crew at Scotty's is superb. Not only will they make sure to take most delicate care of your superexpensive designer garb but they'll remember your name to boot. And they're certainly not going to hold your weird mystery stains against you. Circle of trust.

"Consignment shop" might be the fancy name, but in our hearts — and in Macklemore's — they'll always be thrift shops. Still, it can be tough to find a decent one. Sure, the sweater is designer, but it's still $85 used! Second Time Around on Fourth Avenue in chichi downtown Delray Beach actually manages to be thrifty and still carry designer shoes, purses, and clothes. It's pretty much just women's wear here (sorry, fellas), but it's got such a good range of clothing, you'll find a gift for Mom, Nana, and your niece. It recently expanded into an empty space next door, doubling the store's size and available inventory. There's always a bargain table and a clearance rack out front. Just consider: On a Saturday morning, you can buy your organic produce at the farmers' market in Old School Square, stop at the Green Owl diner for coffee and an omelet, then wander around the corner to pick up some trendy secondhand fashion at Second Time Around, all without getting back in your car.

A good used-furniture place is hard to find, and once you do, you should guard the name and location like a precious secret — unless you're New Times, and then you tell everyone. On a little stretch of Federal Highway where it narrows down to two one-way roads in Delray Beach is a secondhand furniture store called East Coast Furniture. It's not much to look at from the outside, and it comes up on you quick from behind a big hedge, so you have to turn at the last second. But you'll know it when you see it because the owners always put a few pieces out front to lure passersby in need of a good bookcase or patio set. The real gold is inside, though. It has an eclectic collection of estate-sale-type stuff, some more basic but some gorgeous, heavy antiques made from real wood with dovetail joints. It has plenty of dining room sets, bedroom sets, and couches. You'll also find odd and unique items, like an old-fashioned vanity right out of Breakfast at Tiffany's or a corner cabinet that fills that spot in your dining room just so. Best of all, the prices are reasonable, and it'll deliver. It's all young guys working there, and other than a polite hello and "Let me know if you need anything," you're free to wander around and discover treasures all on your own. When you find something you love, just give them a wave and they'll carry it out for you. And if looking at furniture is not your thing, you can always wander next door to the Frog Lounge.

Amateurs get their tattoos at touristy shops on the beach. Pros get them from Michael "Pooch" Pucciarelli. The dude has been drawing twisted sci-fi and monster-inspired art since he was a wee lad whiling away his after-school hours with thrash-metal records and H.P. Lovecraft novels and continued filling of sketchbooks through his days as guitarist in Raped Ape. He opened Altered State in 1996, and partners Scott White and Brad Cain round out his talented team. Though he's a big hunk of a man, Pooch is actually gentle and eloquent and can discuss tattoo styles and legendary tattooists like a freaking art history professor. In the past few years, he's transcended the art world beyond tattoos, exhibiting paintings at gallery shows and doing commissioned works. Though he's known for a lot of the standard lowbrow themes — skulls, circuses, roller coasters, and nightmare images — ask him for anything. He will give you the baddest Miami Dolphins logo or Winnie the Pooh on Earth.

Well, the name is apt. Not exactly a tidy place, Confusion looks a lot more like a collector's bedroom than a record store. Records are seemingly carelessly strewn across every square inch. They fill bins, are scattered on the floor, are tucked in corners, hang on the walls — even the ceiling! CDs too, and cassettes! It's easy to assume that there is no order to this chaos and that the one must-have record you need for your collection will never be found in the madness. Ah, but Confusion Records is fueled by a unique kind of enthusiast/owner, one who doesn't have a website and seems to rarely answer the phone (we could track down only his first name — John), who knows the store inside and out and can direct you, without hesitation, to whatever it is you're looking for. You will (perhaps literally) stumble upon a lot of great stuff, but if you're looking for something in particular, you're going to need John's help, which means you'll strike up a conversation with him, which means you'll learn a thing or ten from the vast store of musical knowledge in his most amazing brain.

If you like the idea of supporting local, family-run businesses and you happen to be in need of a fashionable pair of glasses, Eyes on Linton can provide you with both. Chapman was raised in Delray Beach, and two of his five children work in the office with him. The staff, both blood-related and non-, is friendly and helpful. Prescription not working for you? Bring it back; they'll swap it out. Refer a new customer? You get a $25 store credit. Chapman is thorough and will take you back and forth to the lens room himself, "hmm"-ing and contemplating and taking the time to try one lens after another until you get the prescription just right. And don't worry about getting the hard sell on extra features like lenses that get dark in the sunlight or glare coating. They'll lay them out for you but be very clear about what your insurance covers. Their selection of glasses and sunglasses is pretty varied, so you can go minimal with frameless lenses or make a Zooey Deschanel-type statement with your thick, black rims. Just don't set your glasses down lens-side down; you will get a scolding.

It's South Florida. Your ride needs to be fly. You can't settle for the drive-through car wash at Chevron. Oh no, no, no! You need a real live person who's going to wash by hand and take it very, very seriously if there is water residue on your paint job or fly guts on your radiator. Un-freaking-acceptable! Well, check this: In a flash of brilliance, John D'Eri and his son Tom thought to pair autistic individuals who frequently thrive on repetitive tasks with car-washing jobs. The idea stemmed from his concern for his own autistic 22-year-old son, and he now employs 35 autistic workers who wash cars in a special process with 46 distinct steps. Rising Tide consulted with Sonny's Enterprises (the maker of car wash systems) and UM-Nova Southeastern University Center for Autism and Related Disabilities to develop its business model and ensures that all car washers go through a 25-hour training program developed with Car Wash College. Bonus: The cost is only $5 to $35.

So this isn't the biggest fleet in the world ­— it's one man with a limo ($75 an hour, or ten hours for $500), a party bus ($150 per hour, or ten hours for $1,000), and a Star Wars fascination (though he has extra drivers for busy nights). But that one man, Pete Greenstein, is an amiable, honest guy who doesn't drink or smoke, so you know you're in good, safe, capable hands and won't get ripped off when you're good and schnockered and need a lift at 5 in the morning. Though he'll go as far as Port St. Lucie and Miami, he's known to make regular trips from Palm Beach Gardens/Jupiter to Clematis Street and back. Call — if he's making a run, you don't have to rent the whole bus; just pay per head and jump in. He also does regular runs from Palm Beach County down to Fort Lauderdale strip clubs — and in fact, if you're in downtown West Palm Beach, get a free ride to Spearmint Rhino's. Try not to hurt yourself on the stripper pole in the party bus, and please don't puke in the limo — no one ever has, so far.

Want free birth control? Here it is: A decent daycare in Fort Lauderdale costs $700 to $800 a month minimum. If this information is coming at you a little too late and that bun is already warming up in its oven, you've likely already accepted this terrifying fact and must now settle on which of these facilities you're going to turn over your salary to and entrust with little Snoogums. We've taken all the tours, interrogated all the directors, critiqued all the lunches, spied on all the teachers, and weighed the pros and cons (this one has security cameras, but that one has more shade trees on the playground) and can confidently declare that First United Methodist Church has the winning combo. Though some people tout Montessori programs (which cost the same as college tuition) or Nova Southeastern's program (harder to get into than college), this cute, pink downtown church school has a lovely, well-trained staff, clean and well-maintained toys, and indoor and outdoor space to roam, so your kid won't be stuck in one place all day. Once you get her in, it'll be harder to get her out — she'll want to stay and play even past the 6 p.m. closing time. Thank goodness for the lovely Mercedes, who buzzes parents in, keeps sketchy people out, and bribes those little suckers out the door with a sticker at the end of every day.

Used to be, you had to pick between two crummy options: the affordable neighborhood salon with the nice lady whose haircut you can afford — but who's going to make you look like Aunt Millie till it grows out — or the way-cool salon with the punky staff and trendy cuts — but that's going to cost you $4,020, just for single-process. (You will know these people by their cooing "Ooh, you look fabulous" in that fake voice.). But now, you have Richard. Though he's a veteran of Fort Lauderdale's nicest salons and is up-to-date on fashionable looks, he never caught that whole Being Judgmental virus. It's like he honestly didn't even notice that you walked in with a ratty-ass 'do, and he really does remember your life drama even though you haven't been in for five months. But underneath that sweet-uncle vibe are some ninja scissor skills. Basically, he just hums and chuckles and gives you wine, and two hours later, you walk away looking ten years younger with a cut that really will work with your texture. And since you haven't been pressured to buy any $37 carbon-fiber, sulfate-free, wind-defying gloss, you'll have a few bucks still in your pocket.

Lots of hotels are on Fort Lauderdale Beach... but how many of them are actually on the oceanfront? (None of that across-the-street nonsense here.) Lots of hotels have restaurants inside... but how many have an old-fashioned ice cream shop? And lots of hotels have pools... but how many of them have a Lazy River? The Pelican Grand's location (just out of earshot of the strip's loud bars), its old-fashioned Southern-style veranda, and most of all, its superwarm hospitality make this place deliciously, languidly out of place. Though we generally despise corporate takeovers, the fact that the Pelican was assumed by the Noble House brand of luxury boutique hotels means it is constantly being upgraded and will have to live up to the chain's high standards. Sign in, unpack, and have the bartender sling you one of his amazing cocktails. (Pelican Brief, anyone?) Pro tip: The hotel has about 25 rooms that are privately owned by individuals (like condos), and if you score one of these (ask for a manager when you book), you can sometimes save $100 per night (though housekeeping may cost extra).

Toward the end of each season, early in the morning, around 8, you'll see a line start to form outside a small boutique called LF (named after owner Laurie Furst) on Las Olas Boulevard. On end-of-season sale day, at about 9 a.m., the salespeople take a deep breath (betraying both dread and anticipation), brace themselves, and open the door for wolfish shoppers who will inevitably destroy the store in search of bargains on the usually very expensive (dare we say overpriced?) merchandise. The store carries young, fresh styles — all unique because the brands are exclusive to the store (plus a few fashion lines from London and Paris). The first weekend is by invitation-only to customers who have bought something before (afterward, anyone can get what's left); and while not officially recognized, the first day of the sale is an unequivocal holiday for the fashionably inclined youth around these parts. Girls skip school to spend the day rummaging with their moms. They trudge through the bodies, picking off shirts and pants and skirts, which, after an hour, hang limply on the disheveled shelves and racks. The scene takes on a macabre-party vibe, with shoppers resembling vultures as they pick at goods left after a fashion explosion. The little room's air conditioner can't handle the pressure, and sometimes the heat becomes unbearable. But brave girls and moms don't care. After all, beauty is pain, right?