Wouldn't this look sweet next to the Miami Subs?
Wouldn't this look sweet next to the Miami Subs?

Five Reasons Jay-Z Should Open a 40/40 Club in Fort Lauderdale Airport

There are many things Jay-Z is quite good at. Between the platinum albums, critical acclaim, NY Times best-selling memoir Decoded, a record label, clothing line and putting a ring on one of the most talented women on the planet, he's done pretty well for himself. Now, he's looking to expand his empire by combining some things we all like (professional sports, buffalo wings) with something we all hate: air travel. In recent news, Jay-Z announced a partnership between his New York-based 40/40 Club and Delaware North Companies, a hospitality and food service firm. They plan to expand the 40/40 Club brand into airports throughout America, offering "lounge setting" sports bars with plasma TVs, full sports coverage and (hopefully) relatively few New York Jets fans.

While it would be nice to catch a beer

after the overzealous security fondling and x-raying, the 40/40 club is

one of Hova's worst most disappointing investments since buying a stake

in the New Jersey Nets. 40/40 Club Manhattan pulls an underwhelming yelp

rating of 2.5 stars with horrifying complaints about $12 shots, a "$100

cake fee" for bringing a cake to your own party, and -- brace yourself

--  "blood smeared" bathroom walls.

Nevertheless, Fort Lauderdale

could use an injection of coolness (albeit, pseudo, corporate-coolness),

and it wouldn't hurt the economy to have tourists buying overpriced Bud

Light because the 40/40 Club is the only venue in Florida to catch a

Bruins game.

Hence, Mr. Carter, here are the top five reasons to introduce The 40/40 Club: Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport.

1. Lebronukah.

We all knew this one was coming, so I might as well get it out of the

way. Lebron, your boy, set up shop in South Beach. Certainly you'll be

making it down here. Miami International Airport is a terrifying place,

and FLL is closer to Disney and has more body-scanners than anyone. Think about it.

2. Free Wi-Fi.

You're a busy man, and you didn't get on the cover of Forbes by

spending foolishly. FLL offers free Wi-Fi in all terminals for any mogul

on the go.

3. Transportation. Let's say your motorcade breaks down, and no one in your entourage remembered the spare. What to do? Go here and check out the Shared Ride for just $21 to South Beach or a Luxury Sedan for $70 if you want to treat yourself.

4. Competition.

There is none. At FLL the choices are between Dunkin Donuts, Chili's To

Go, or that always regrettable pizza place (not Sbarro, the other one).

The 40/40 Club promises to obtain terminal hegemony immediately no

matter how absurdly priced the wings are.

5. The Florida Panthers.

You have already shown an interest in buying dying franchises. Why not

expand? The Panthers have a disastrous market share, and they haven't

made news since that hot chick flashed the rink.

That's it. Barely a plea, but a plea nonetheless. Hope we see you soon, Jigga.


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