Keep New Times Free

Rihanna's Miami Heat Courtside Cameo: Fairweather Fandom, Pregnancy Coverup, or Neither?

Is anything sweeter than watching LeBron Fucking James and Ray Goddamn Allen metaphorically mash the collective face of the Milwaukee Bucks into a gravel pit of defeat? Sure, there are myriad victories to come. But this is the Miami Heat's first in a methodical Sherman's March decimation of the NBA and successful defense of the Throne.

The only thing that could seemingly make this scenario any better would be freakin' Rihanna sittin' front-row with some big-ass fly-girl hoop earrings and her weight in Heat bling. Well after last night, Heat fans might need to pause the perpetual group sing along of "We Are The Champions" for another Queen tune: "Bohemian Rhapsody," the classic glam-prog opus featuring the core existential ponderance, "Is this real life or is this just fantasy?"

See also

- Rihanna & A$AP Rocky - BB&T Center, Sunrise - April 20

- PHOTOS: Rihanna and A$AP Rocky at BB&T Center

- The Definitive Rihanna Guide to Smoking Reefer

- Rihanna's Hairstylist Yusef Williams Says She's "the One That Rocked My World"

Burnie's Boys sure did layeth the smacketh down upon dem Bucks. And you can bet your Instagram feed that Bad Girl RiRi was hanging hard and decked to the nines in Heat paraphernalia.

Alas, we doubt like Thomas after the Resurrection. Does the pop superstar really give a coco loco about Dade County's lone respectable sports franchise? Or does Rihanna have ulterior motives?

Our first suspicion was certainly scandalous but also disappointingly commonplace: Is Rihanna a fair-weather fan? Does she only care about King James and D. Wade because they are the new Jordan-Pippin? But then Ri's emphatically lewd gestures made us consider the possibility that her courtside cameo might have actually been part of a coverup campaign to conceal her pregnancy with the spawn of Chris Brown for as long as possible. The Internet has been abuzz with rumors that the "Diamonds" singer is straight-up knocked-up and that's why she's been cancelling tour dates left and right. Rihanna's camp has been tight-lipped which has only fueled the gossipy flames, which means that if she is actually with child, her brand managers are not ready to make a formal announcement. So maybe this appearance was supposed to signify the fact that Breezy Junior is nowhere near a reality. She certainly doesn't look preggo in that pic of her making lewd cunnilingus gesture, does she?

Honestly, while the two aforementioned theories are way more exciting, we kinda think Rihanna may just like sports. She did just inspire a large chunk of the Canadian population to post pictures of themselves wearing Ottawa Senators jerseys and no pants.

I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of South Florida and help keep the future of New Times free.

Keep New Times Broward-Palm Beach Free... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering South Florida with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in South Florida.