The Polk County jail is going to be home to some free-swinging criminals starting in August.
According to the Polk Sheriff's Office spokeswoman Donna Wood, as part of a cost-cutting measure, the jail will no longer provide inmates with five free pairs of underwear when they're booked.
Now the only way for the jailhouse dudes to obtain a layer of cotton protection is to shell out some cash -- $2.54 for briefs and $4.48 for a pair of boxers.
"Sheriff Grady Judd announced today during a budget presentation to the Polk County Board of County Commissioners that the Polk County Jail would no longer provide free underwear to male inmates booked into the jail," the sheriff's office says. "The move will save an estimated $45,000 per year in operation costs."
Due to "hygiene" issues, the ladies still get their five sets of undies.
The sheriff's office assures the public that inmates still have the opportunity to wash their underwear -- which they may or may not have -- twice a week.
Sheriff Judd's reasoning here is that since people outside of jail have to pay for their underwear, why should people who may have committed a crime get 'em for free?
"Forty-five thousand dollars is one person's job we're saving," Judd says. "If inmates want to wear underwear in jail, they can buy it, just like hard-working Polk County citizens do."
According to Reuters, this ain't the first time Judd's been shafting inmates on such luxuries.
"He eliminated peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, corn bread, coffee, juice, and fresh milk from the jail menu a few years ago, saying if inmates wanted to eat those things they should stop breaking the law," the wire service says.
This, sadly, looks good on "America's Toughest Sheriff," Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, who actually prides himself on giving out his famous pink undies.
Then again, Arpaio also likes to keep his inmates in Korean War tents in 120-degree heat, deputized Ted Nugent, lies about his number of Facebook friends, and has been under investigation by the feds for 942 days.
Moral of the story: It could be worse than some chafed man parts.
Keep New Times Broward-Palm Beach Free... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering South Florida with no paywalls.