Mythical Meat Gift Guide: Unicorns, Zombies, Pig Wings, and More

There's always one person on your list -- a boss, a parent, a friend -- who is just impossible to shop for. Maybe they already have everything in the world, maybe they're just picky. 

Read Also: Gift Guide For Foodies: 10 Unique Stocking Stuffers Under $20

You could get them a fruit basket or have some fine steaks sent to their house -- but that's not unique enough is it? 

For the person who has absolutely everything, we've come up with an assortment of rare treats from mythical creatures.

Pig Wings
You know the expression, "when pigs fly". It generally means "never" -- mainly because pigs don't have wings. That may be true in some cases...but not all. Pig Wings, aka Pioneer Meats in Farmington Hills, Michigan has apparently found a way to breed flying pigs. The result? Tender, spicy wings for the pork lover in you. A five pound bag has about 40 pieces, which is enough for one porcine party. $40 at Pig Wings.

Reindeer Pate
We know, we know. Reindeer has been on the dinner table in Scandinavian countries for years. Heck, we ate reindeer sausage in Alaska. But there's a difference between the common variety reindeer and Santa's magical reindeer. The flying variety with the glowing noses have traditionally been "hands off" for consumption -- until now. Harvey Nichols is selling reindeer pate that's the "farm raised cousin of Rudolph".  We're thinking a lovely gift basket filled with crackers, reindeer pate, and a DVD of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Why watch the movie when you can eat it, too? About $24 at Harvey Nichols.

Zombie Jerky
Everyone knows that zombies are out to tear the flesh from our still living bodies with their teeth. But what you probably didn't know is that zombies are quite delicious. Their green flesh has been cured into a delicious jerky for your enjoyment. So far, it comes in only one flavor - teriyucky, but expect more. $19.95 for a four-pack at Harcos Labs.

Unicorn Meat
The mighty unicorn is a rare creature indeed. Beautiful, kind, and, it turns out, delicious. According to the manufacturer, these unicorns live out their final days eating a diet of candy corn and pooping out marshmallows before they're canned. These horned horses have been shrunk down into small cans to allow for ease of shipping. Instructions include zapping them with a growth ray before butchering -- or just take the can to your local mad scientist butcher. $11.34 at

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Laine Doss is the food and spirits editor for Miami New Times, covering the restaurant and bar scene in South Florida. She has been featured on Cooking Channel’s Eat Street and Food Network’s Great Food Truck Race. Doss won an Alternative Weekly award for her feature on what it’s like to wait tables. In a previous life, she appeared off-Broadway and shook many a cocktail as a bartender at venues in South Florida and New York City. When she’s not writing, you can find Doss running some marathon then celebrating at the nearest watering hole.
Contact: Laine Doss