Starbucks Barista Writes The Most Awesome Song - And Gets Fired! (Video)

Barista Chrissizle is just a talented guy pumping out venti lattes for rent money. So he took that talent and wrote the most awesome Starbucks song ever!

Like most mega-corporations, instead of giving this guy a raise, Starbucks fires him.

Sure, the song calls out rich people and ethnic stereotypes for pissing away tons of money on overpriced coffees and sugar-laden cream drinks. But, hey! Isn't that what Starbucks is all about?

Personally, we love the Starbucks song, because we feel really stupid

every time we have to pay for coffee with a credit card that carries 17%

interest because we don't have a spare seven bucks until payday.

And we secretly know that when we order a venti-extra

hot-doppio-skim-caramel-latte with whipped cream instead of foam, the

barista pours whatever shit he wants into the cup - and we never even

realized...until we heard this song and the dark heart of a barista was

finally revealed to us.

Here's the pre-firing song (upbeat):

And here's the more introspective post-firing song (still awesome):

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Laine Doss is the food and spirits editor for Miami New Times, covering the restaurant and bar scene in South Florida. She has been featured on Cooking Channel’s Eat Street and Food Network’s Great Food Truck Race. Doss won an Alternative Weekly award for her feature on what it’s like to wait tables. In a previous life, she appeared off-Broadway and shook many a cocktail as a bartender at venues in South Florida and New York City. When she’s not writing, you can find Doss running some marathon then celebrating at the nearest watering hole.
Contact: Laine Doss