We all have that one pothead friend who thinks of himself as a legal scholar and loves nothing more than to debate the general hypocrisy of the way our society (not to mention our legal system) treats alcohol versus marijuana.
Who has not sat patiently through the "big lumber paid to have marijuana defamed and criminalized so help wouldn't destroy their business" speech, not to mention the one about how pot cures everything?
Thank God for beer or most of us wouldn't be able to listen to this monologue one more time.
But we nod along, because, well, as annoying as Buddha is, he's got a point -- Jon Stewart is just able to make it much more hilariously, and with news clips.
"What's to keep somebody from getting all potted up on weed and then getting behind the wheel?" asked Steve Doocy of Fox and Friends. What indeed, Steve Doocy? What indeed.
We'll let the voice of The Daily Show speak to that.
"There's no question that pot, like everything else, can have its downside, but a recent UC-San Diego study found that alcohol appears to harm the teenage brain even more than -- and I'm using clinical terminology here -- getting potted up on weed."
So, it follows, that the hand-wringing argument of the talking heads would ring a lot truer if they had similar views on alcohol consumption -- which, of course, they do not.
Queue 45 seconds of various news "personalities" from CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News lauding "Wine Wednesday," "Margarita Day," and answering the age-old question of what they'll be doing on New Year's Eve.
"I'm gonna get real drunk," Steve Doocy -- the man, the legend.
Not that there's anything wrong with that. We too like to get "real drunk," and no one will ever accuse Clean Plate Charlie of not celebrating the glory that is craft beer. (Please drink responsibly -- we're lookin' at you, Doocy!)
But what is it that makes alcohol a thing to be celebrated and marijuana an evil substance that will throw America into ruin?
According to Jon Stewart, just a lack of good PR.
"Our view of alcohol is not even benign indifference, but celebratory... Maybe if pot had as many commercials as beer, we wouldn't let it worry us so much."
You can contact Rebecca Dittmar, Arts & Culture Editor/Food Blog Editor at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Keep New Times Broward-Palm Beach Free... Since we started New Times Broward-Palm Beach, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of South Florida, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering South Florida with no paywalls.