Before I tell you this story, I should say this much: I love canning, and now is the time of year you'll find me in the kitchen, enveloped in clouds of steam. 

I know this makes me the nerdiest guy in the history of the world. And I

know it's probably the least manly pseudo-hobby I can think of. But what

can I say? I'm a proud member of the back-to-the-earth, locavore

movement. And it's not even because I think the corporate food industry

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is evil or trying to poison me (although it very well might be). It's more like my own food tastes

better.

Except when it doesn't.

Last year, I got the bright idea to make my own coleslaw. How hard can that be, right? Shred some cabbage, add a few spices and some vinegar, bottle it up to ferment, and you're good to go.

This last weekend, I was cleaning out our kitchen cabinets when I ran across the bottles of coleslaw and noticed they looked a little fuzzy. That's not good. And now comes the public service annoucement: never, ever, under any circumstances open a bottle of moldy, year-old, rotted cabbage inside your house. The stink was like a snake that uncoiled from the first bottle and whapped me right in the face. It took DAYS to air out the kitchen.

So I goofed. It happens. But I still enthusiastically recommend growing and canning your own food. It's not that hard--except when you screw it up--and if you ever had the chance to try some of my homemade salsa, you'd understand.

Click here or here for a few primers to help you get started.